Writer: Ron Shelton
Director: Ron Shelton
Release: June 15, 1988
Tagline(s): A Major League Love Story in a Minor League Town
It’s all about sex and sport. What else is there?
Romance is a lot like baseball. It’s not whether you win or lose. It’s how you play the game.
A movie about America’s other favorite pastime
Producer(s): Mark Burg, Thom Mount
Executive-Producer: David V. Lester
Associate-Producer: Charles Hirshhorn
Stars/Actors: Kevin Costner, Susan Sarandon, Tim Robbins, Trey Wilson, Robert Wuhl, Garland Bunting
Music by: Michael Convertino
Production Company: The Mount Company
Genre(s): Comedy, Sports, Romance
Runtime: 108 minutes
Synopsis: A fan who has an affair with one minor-league baseball player each season meets an up-and-coming pitcher and the experienced catcher assigned to him.
Declassified by Agent Palmer: Nine Innings with Bull Durham
Quotes and Lines
“I believe in the Church of Baseball. I’ve tried all the major religions and most of the minor ones. I’ve worshiped Buddha, Allah, Brahma, Vishnu, Siva, trees, mushrooms, and Isadora Duncan. I know things. For instance, there are 108 beads in a Catholic rosary and there are 108 stitches in a baseball. When I learned that, I gave Jesus a chance. But it just didn’t work out between us. The Lord laid too much guilt on me. I prefer metaphysics to theology. You see, there’s no guilt in baseball, and it’s never boring, which makes it like sex. There’s never been a ballplayer slept with me who didn’t have the best year of his career. Making love is like hitting a baseball: you just gotta relax and concentrate. Besides, I’d never sleep with a player hitting under .250, not unless he had a lot of RBIs and was a great glove man up the middle. You see, there’s a certain amount of life wisdom I give these boys. I can expand their minds. Sometimes when I got a ballplayer alone, I’ll just read Emily Dickinson or Walt Whitman to him, and the guys are so sweet, they always stay and listen. ‘Course, a guy’ll listen to anything if he thinks it’s foreplay. I make them feel confident, and they make me feel safe, and pretty. ‘Course, what I give them lasts a lifetime; what they give me lasts 142 games. Sometimes it seems like a bad trade. But bad trades are part of baseball – now who can forget Frank Robinson for Milt Pappas, for God’s sake? It’s a long season and you gotta trust it. I’ve tried ’em all, I really have, and the only church that truly feeds the soul, day in, day out, is the Church of Baseball.” – Annie
“Well, I believe in the soul, the cock, the pussy, the small of a woman’s back, the hanging curve ball, high fiber, good scotch, that the novels of Susan Sontag are self-indulgent, overrated crap. I believe Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone. I believe there ought to be a constitutional amendment outlawing Astroturf and the designated hitter. I believe in the sweet spot, soft-core pornography, opening your presents Christmas morning rather than Christmas Eve and I believe in long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last three days.” – Crash
“Your shower shoes have fungus on them. You’ll never make it to the bigs with fungus on your shower shoes. Think classy, you’ll be classy. If you win 20 in the show, you can let the fungus grow back and the press’ll think you’re colorful. Until you win 20 in the show, however, it means you are a slob.” – Crash
“Is the modern athlete a pale imitation of the great old warriors? Only Crash Davis stands out this year, begging the question, ‘What are these boys thinking about, ’cause it sure ain’t baseball.‘” – Teddy
“Relax, all right? Don’t try to strike everybody out. Strikeouts are boring! Besides that, they’re fascist. Throw some ground balls – it’s more democratic.” – Crash
Crash: You be cocky and arrogant, even when you’re getting beat. That’s the secret. You gotta play this game with fear and arrogance.
Nuke: Right. Fear and ignorance.
Crash: No. You hayseed. It’s arrogance not ‘ignorance.’
Skip: You guys. You lollygag the ball around the infield. You lollygag your way down to first. You lollygag in and out of the dugout. You know what that makes you? Larry!
Skip: Lollygaggers… What’s our record, Larry?
Larry: Eight and sixteen.
Skip: Eight… and sixteen. How’d we ever win eight?
Larry: It’s a miracle.
Skip: It’s a miracle. This… is a simple game. You throw the ball. You hit the ball. You catch the ball. You got it?
“I’m the player to be named later.” – Crash
“Baseball may be a religion full of magic, cosmic truth, and the fundamental ontological riddles of our time, but it’s also a job.” – Annie
Larry: Excuse me, but what the hell’s going on out here?
Crash: Well, Nuke’s scared because his eyelids are jammed and his old man’s here. We need a live… is it a live rooster? We need a live rooster to take the curse off Jose’s glove and nobody seems to know what to get Millie or Jimmy for their wedding present. Is that about right? We’re dealing with a lot of shit.
Larry: Okay, well, uh… candlesticks always make a nice gift, and uh, maybe you could find out where she’s registered and maybe a place-setting or maybe a silverware pattern. Okay, let’s get two! Go get ’em.
Annie Savoy: I think probably with my love of four-legged creatures and hooves and everything, that in another lifetime I was probably Catherine the Great, or Francis of Assisi. I’m not sure which one. What do you think?
Crash Davis: How come in former lifetimes, everybody is someone famous?
“The world is made for people who aren’t cursed with self-awareness.” – Annie
“This son of a bitch is throwing a two-hit shutout. He’s shaking me off. You believe that shit? Charlie, here comes the deuce. And when you speak of me, speak well.” – Crash
“Good. Total exhaustion can be spiritually fabulous.” – Annie
“I told him that a player on a streak has to respect the streak.” – Crash
Joe: He walked 18.
Larry: New league record!
Joe: Struck out 18.
Larry: Another new league record! In addition he hit the sportswriter, the public address announcer, the bull mascot twice… Also new league records! But, Joe, this guy’s got some serious shit.
“I have been known on occasion to howl at the moon.” – Crash
“Listen, sweetheart, you shouldn’t listen to what a woman says when she’s in the throes of passion. They say the darndest things.” – Annie
“A good friend of mine used to say, “This is a very simple game. You throw the ball, you catch the ball, you hit the ball. Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose, sometimes it rains.” Think about that for a while.” – Nuke
“I wouldn’t dig in if I was you. Next one might be at your head. I don’t know where it’s gonna go. Swear to God.” – Crash
“Walt Whitman once said, ‘I see great things in baseball. It’s our game, the American game. It will repair our losses and be a blessing to us.’ You could look it up.” – Annie
“You just got lesson number one: don’t think; it can only hurt the ball club.” – Crash