Episode 34 with my old friend Nick DeMarco, owner of Nick D’s Video Game Vault, who is here to discuss our shared collegiate past, what we thought might become of us, what actually did, and much much more.
During the episode we cover:
- Our friendship origin story
- College expectations
- Big fish little pond
- Ending up in retail
- Mental Health
- Anxiety
- Evolutions
- Personal
- Creative
- Writing process
- And much more…
Mentioned and Helpful Links from This Episode
Nick D’s Video Game Vault Facebook Page
Nick D’s Video Game Vault Instagram
Bracing: Ride the Wind by Nicholas DeMarco
Dying To See The Stars by Nicholas DeMarco
Soulstar: Harnessing once lost magic by Nick DeMarco
Music created and provided by Henno Heitur of Monkey Tongue Productions.
–End Show Notes Transmission–
–Begin Transcription–
00:00:00:03 – 00:00:27:15
Agent Palmer
Previously on Agent palmer.com. Lee Mack’s Mack, the life is worth your time. Six great and unfortunately relevant quotes from Douglas Copeland, Miss Wyoming and since the last episode, Mike did buy the Lego Mustang and I’m a little jealous. This is The Palmer Files episode 34 with Nick DeMarco of Nick D’s video game Vault, where we discuss our shared collegiate past, what we thought might become of us, what actually did, and much, much more.
00:00:27:19 – 00:00:43:49
Agent Palmer
Are you ready? Let’s do the show.
00:00:43:54 – 00:01:00:16
Agent Palmer
Let’s.
00:01:00:21 – 00:01:26:15
Agent Palmer
Hello, and welcome to the Palmer Files. I’m your host, Jason Stershic. Also known as Agent Palmer. And on this 34th episode is Nick DeMarco, who I know from way back when, as that guy who happened to be in a lot of my classes in college, but who now owns his own business. Nick, these video game vault. I invited my old friend because I wanted to know more of the story about how he went from having certain aspirations in college to owning his own business.
00:01:26:29 – 00:01:53:32
Agent Palmer
And I thought that such a story would be worthy of sharing with you, my audience. What you are about to hear is mainly the origin story of Nick Dees video game vault, but it also happens to coexist in a storyline that includes personal evolution, which we chronicle along the way. Now, I will warn you that we are vague with some pronouns and places, but it’s just because some of those wounds are still a little tender, even after the distance of time.
00:01:53:36 – 00:02:14:55
Agent Palmer
But we did both attend Keystone College, which is where the story starts once it gets going. Before we get it going, remember that if you want to discuss this episode as you listen or after, you can tweet me at Agent Palmer, the show at The Palmer Files. Nick isn’t on Twitter, but you can find his shop on Facebook at facebook.com, slash Nick D’s video game vault.
00:02:15:09 – 00:02:42:37
Agent Palmer
Or just search Nick D’s video game Vault. And you can also find him on Instagram at Nick DSV, which stands for Nick D’s Video Game Vault. You can see all of my writings and rantings on Agent palmer.com. And of course, email can be sent to the show at the Palmer Files at gmail.com. So without further ado, let’s press play.
00:02:42:42 – 00:03:08:27
Agent Palmer
Nick, you and I go back a very long time. I’m not I’m going to. I’m not going to say any time frames or ages. I’m just going to say college. So that way everybody else can do the math should they choose to. But we were both communications majors at a four year college. That was only we were the second group to get four year degrees.
00:03:08:32 – 00:03:29:22
Agent Palmer
And since that time you have become a successful business owner. Now, I understand this was not overnight, but when I go back and I think of us on that campus together, I do not think of you as like an entrepreneur. I remember you as an artist.
00:03:29:33 – 00:03:50:46
Nick DeMarco
Yeah, that’s that’s that’s pretty fair. Yeah. Well, I mean, I, I that wasn’t what I had intended to do either. I mean, it’s, it’s a funny thing. It’s, it’s something that to people that are, you know, close to me, it’s a no brainer. But to people who, you know, followed me all the years through through college and stuff, it’s like, what?
00:03:50:47 – 00:04:11:09
Nick DeMarco
Wait, what? You know, like, it’s it’s still one of those things, like, I still get people that I went to high school with, they come in and they’re like, oh, this is your store. I’m like, no, I just that’s some other guy’s name that’s on the thing there. It’s not me. It’s somebody. It’s somebody else. There’s a whole bunch of Nicki’s out there and I’m just filling in.
00:04:11:14 – 00:04:36:42
Nick DeMarco
Yeah, it’s it’s a funny thing, though, but, you know, when I really look at, you know, passions outside of what I, you know, went and, educated myself in and kind of fine tuned it. It’s always been there, but it’s, it’s something that, truth be told, you know, took a lot of me kind of, not talking myself out of it.
00:04:36:55 – 00:04:58:03
Nick DeMarco
It was one of those things where, And I’m sure you know this, that, you know, going to school where we went to school and there was this, there is this feeling that, oh, my God, like, I did all this, and I’m really good at it. And when I leave here, everyone’s been knocking down my door, and I’m going to be able to do my art, and it’s going to be great.
00:04:58:08 – 00:05:26:00
Nick DeMarco
And no one ever did, take it personally. I took it as a lesson in, a little bit of a lesson in humility, but also, just the realization, I think, of what we both knew, and it was one of those, square hole, round peg type things. It was one of those things where it was like, hey, this guy does all this stuff, but I don’t know if it’ll work out here.
00:05:26:03 – 00:05:53:16
Nick DeMarco
I just don’t know. So I think I just after a while, of just taking other jobs that were just not fulfilling, my wife basically just said to me one day, why don’t you just do this? Like, why don’t you just do this? Because, I was doing it on weekends at a flea market, and it was like the thing I looked forward to every weekend, and it just kind of grew from there.
00:05:53:20 – 00:06:11:35
Nick DeMarco
But yeah, it’s I, I kind of never get tired of, of laughing when people are just like, come in and it’s just like, this is your store. Like like you, you own this, this is this is your thing. And and I’m just like, you know what I mean? This it happens a lot with the stuff that I do in there.
00:06:11:35 – 00:06:18:47
Nick DeMarco
The, the other art that I do, in my store, too. That’s the other thing. You made this. This is you. You made this, you know.
00:06:18:47 – 00:06:44:01
Agent Palmer
All right. So, I mean, look, there’s there’s a lot of steps, and I want to go through a few of them, right. Like, so we we both the I will say that, well, we met freshman year. I don’t think we really became close until junior year. Maybe, maybe junior year. I feel like it’s probably that capstone year that like really kind of bonded us.
00:06:44:15 – 00:06:53:30
Nick DeMarco
It did. But also you have to remember early on, you know, we were we weren’t even living near one another. And then we became neighbors. I remember that.
00:06:53:35 – 00:06:54:22
Agent Palmer
I.
00:06:54:27 – 00:06:57:12
Nick DeMarco
I sure do you, you know, do.
00:06:57:12 – 00:07:00:38
Agent Palmer
You remember I remember being neighbors I.
00:07:00:43 – 00:07:14:07
Nick DeMarco
I remember that’s really what that’s really what, what bonded us together because it was just like, we didn’t have to go far to be like, hey, I don’t really like this. I don’t really like it either.
00:07:14:12 – 00:07:37:01
Agent Palmer
And I it’s funny. So you say that. And I was the other day, I was going through some files, like trying to just get rid of some stuff, like a, like a cleaning purge. And I found some capstone stuff, and I found some things that you had, like, you and I had, like, cross worded capstone with, like, other random words for each letter.
00:07:37:06 – 00:07:50:13
Agent Palmer
And, I remember I don’t remember any more, but and I know I have it somewhere in this house. We wrote on t shirts. Yes. We did. Capstone.
00:07:50:13 – 00:07:52:55
Nick DeMarco
Were the we were the anti capstone brigade.
00:07:52:55 – 00:07:54:44
Agent Palmer
That’s what it was.
00:07:54:48 – 00:07:57:13
Nick DeMarco
Yeah. And yeah. Yep.
00:07:57:14 – 00:08:22:50
Agent Palmer
The ACB and and what’s, what’s what’s interesting about that is I didn’t I completely forgot a lot of this stuff. But looking through the capstone stuff like I remember you were always there, right. Because we all got, separated by what our capstones were and ours were in this similar we, we were in the creative medium space.
00:08:22:55 – 00:08:45:20
Nick DeMarco
Which basically in that aspect, it was like we were we were the, we were kind of the redheaded stepchildren because it was like, I felt like where as if because we were so new to this, and because there wasn’t much else that was established, what was established, it was like, okay, you guys are going to do this, okay?
00:08:45:20 – 00:09:07:16
Nick DeMarco
Boom, boom, boom. Like certain things where for the instructor, we’re easier outside of the creative realm. And then we came like knocking on the door like, hey, we’re going to do this. And she was just like, okay. And I was the first person to go, excuse me. How do we cite our own imagination? Do I cite it?
00:09:07:16 – 00:09:32:04
Nick DeMarco
Nick? Imagination one. I don’t think she really appreciated that. And it’s funny because many years later, I actually emailed her and I was very grateful and thanked her for all the classes. I think I took the most of her classes in four years there. And the funny thing was, she actually said no one ever really thanked her for all the years that she’s been like an instructor.
00:09:32:16 – 00:09:49:27
Nick DeMarco
Like no one’s been like, hey, thanks for all the the, you know, the impact and the stuff that’s stuck with me. And it’s, it’s I don’t know, but yeah, I, I just know that we definitely became like two people on an island during that.
00:09:49:32 – 00:09:49:54
Agent Palmer
Yeah.
00:09:49:54 – 00:09:51:27
Nick DeMarco
And I at least I felt like that.
00:09:51:29 – 00:10:09:45
Agent Palmer
No, no, we were definitely kind of out. We’re almost like out to pasture almost because like, I, I feel like and it’s a bit of a joke to think about it now, but I feel like we were guaranteed to pass because they didn’t want us going around again. Like, you know.
00:10:09:49 – 00:10:30:58
Nick DeMarco
Well, I’ll be honest, let’s be honest. One of us, probably more than the other. Let’s let’s be honest, although probably together, I think it’s one of those things I will say this when people say where there was one of us, there was the other one. I think that was a nice way of saying, I can handle one of you, but together I can’t do it.
00:10:31:02 – 00:10:33:41
Nick DeMarco
I think that was I think that was the nice way to say it.
00:10:33:41 – 00:10:43:45
Agent Palmer
I mean, I know there were pockets of that campus where I was definitely. I don’t know what the word is like. More hands toward more.
00:10:43:59 – 00:10:46:20
Nick DeMarco
Notorious is the word like that’s the word you’re looking for.
00:10:46:21 – 00:11:11:37
Agent Palmer
Okay, okay, I there were there were places where I was notorious, right. Like. And there you go. Some of it was the over involvement. I will admit. Right. I think a lot of it was the attitude. I feel like if anyone other than me did all that stuff and I maybe did all that stuff with, like, less of a cynical outlook or or just a slight, just just a hint of positivity, just a hint more.
00:11:11:50 – 00:11:35:08
Agent Palmer
I feel like it would have gone over much more swimmingly, but because it was me and I was like, I’m, I’m okay to do these things, but I don’t like this system. And I’m going to give you a running commentary of everything I find wrong with the system while I’m here and doing it. People were like, well, he is doing all this stuff, but like, he won’t shut up about this thing.
00:11:35:12 – 00:11:48:04
Nick DeMarco
Yeah, well, I mean, that’s that’s pretty much the way. And the thing about it is still to this day, with certain people up there, that is how we are fondly remembered.
00:11:48:15 – 00:11:51:26
Agent Palmer
I can’t imagine we’re still remember it. It’s been, oh, no.
00:11:51:31 – 00:12:13:17
Nick DeMarco
Oh, oh we are. Oh, don’t talk. This is somebody who’s gone to just about every homecoming since we’ve left. And trust me. Oh, we are, we are remembered. I don’t want to use the word fondly because I don’t know if that’s true. Certain people maybe, but other people, not so much. Okay.
00:12:13:21 – 00:12:29:51
Agent Palmer
But I do know that the two of us, we got our degrees, and we went out into the world. And for a while, we both were in retail, which was not what we went to school for at all.
00:12:30:03 – 00:12:56:24
Nick DeMarco
No, no, it wasn’t. I mean it for. I just know for me, it was just and and so, truth be told, like, I didn’t want to succumb to the typical, sort of jaded northeastern Pennsylvania outlook on things, which was, oh, you went to school to write. What are you going to do with that around here? There are no jobs for that around here.
00:12:56:29 – 00:13:21:05
Nick DeMarco
Like every place around here that you want to get into. People either stay there until they retire or die. What what are you going to do? And I, truth be told, you know, left there with the idea of, you know, I couldn’t see the, I guess big fish, little pond thing versus out there in the stratosphere, sort of.
00:13:21:09 – 00:13:54:20
Nick DeMarco
And I just, I knocked on so many doors and had the same answer, and the answer just made me. It didn’t make me agitated. It just made me laugh. And that was, well, you don’t have enough experience. Well, I’m here because I want experience. Yeah, but you don’t have any. Well, that’s why I’m here to get experience and the people telling me that were people wearing like Tabasco bottle ties and were like, probably in their mid to late 50s, early 60s and had been working at these places for like 20 years.
00:13:54:25 – 00:14:24:45
Nick DeMarco
So it was easy for them to be like, you know. And then the second thing I realize is that in this area, there a pension for, okay, we’re a newspaper or we’re a magazine or whatever, and we could get someone who lives around here to be brutally honest about the area, or we can hire someone from out of the area who has never seen it and paint it like it’s so rosy and so great and so wonderful, and they nine times out of ten shows the latter.
00:14:24:45 – 00:14:42:19
Nick DeMarco
So I had all those doors shut on me, and for a little bit it was, it was rough. But, you know, I never stopped doing it. I just the avenue I wanted to take was just not just wasn’t available to me.
00:14:42:19 – 00:15:04:27
Agent Palmer
All right. So we’re I’m sure we will come back to this at some point, but, like, I know that you and I, I look, I did an entire episode on my anxiety issues, but you and I went through very different things. But but still, we can put it under the umbrella of mental health, and and we both.
00:15:04:31 – 00:15:27:36
Agent Palmer
I feel like at that point, I was only getting second hand information, but, like I, I would ask about you when I would be in the area, but I don’t necessarily think I saw you saved for more than 1 or 2 times within a certain period. And yeah, I, I know that we both kind of went through it very differently.
00:15:27:41 – 00:15:52:38
Agent Palmer
We but we were both on the other side. But during that time, I, I finally got a professional job and you, for whatever reason. And if we had been more, communicative at the time, I would have been like, what the hell are you doing? You went back and got like, you were like, no, I’m going to get more education.
00:15:52:43 – 00:16:09:45
Agent Palmer
And I was like, yeah, because I remember asking someone, how’s Nick? And they’re like, oh, he’s he went back to school and I was like, what? Why so? So Nick, why?
00:16:09:49 – 00:16:44:52
Nick DeMarco
So so how how long have you been waiting to ask me that question? Years. Years. All right, so I’ll say this. So I was in part raised by a very witty, charming, wonderful storyteller. So my father was, kind of where I get kind of get my wit from kind of get, my storytelling from. And my father always had the belief system that if a door didn’t open you, you found a way to open it.
00:16:44:57 – 00:17:06:11
Nick DeMarco
And so my father had the belief system of, well, you know, you went to the school, all four of my children went to the school, and I don’t have a building named after me. He literally always said that he wanted to talk to the president and ask where the building was that was going to have his name on it.
00:17:06:15 – 00:17:33:17
Nick DeMarco
But. So I just kind of was like, okay. And I ended up going to Mary Wood, which to be honest, was I know a lot of people who really, really love Mary Wood. I know that after I left, which is kind of a reoccurring theme with me when I leave colleges, I leave and they’re like, hey, we’re going to do all this cool stuff, we’re going to build this, and we’re going to do that, you know?
00:17:33:17 – 00:17:56:52
Nick DeMarco
So when I went to Mary Wood and I went there for Communication Arts, I sat down in front of a guy that actually looked a lot like our old American Lit teacher, Doctor Huff. And he asked me, he said, well, what do you want to do? And I said, well, this is what I want to do. And he said, well, don’t you want to get into like television or radio and like the technical aspect of it?
00:17:56:52 – 00:18:19:14
Nick DeMarco
And I’m like, no. And Mary Wood at the time was just kind of like, well, they had like no track for someone like me. So they threw all these courses at me that were, like, absurd. If you remember, I got help from you, on a graphic design course that I was taking that I knew nothing about.
00:18:19:14 – 00:18:39:39
Nick DeMarco
Yeah. Everything. And the only thing I remember about that class is the guy who taught it was named Scott Weiland. So I always thought of Stone Temple Pilots as, But other than that, I knew nothing. I took a common law class there, and it was the most boring class I’d ever taken in my life. In my life.
00:18:39:44 – 00:18:59:18
Nick DeMarco
And on top of it, I had to get because of, a lot of the mental health stuff that I was dealing with. I had to get extensions on a lot of stuff and ended up graduating a little bit later. Mary was like, well, are you going to get your diploma in January? And I’m like, nah, I’m good.
00:18:59:18 – 00:19:21:01
Nick DeMarco
You can just you could just I’m not going to go to a ceremony. I’ll be fine. Well, we’re still going to charge you $250 anyway. So my diploma was in on ransom forever. And so one day my father goes, how much is it to get your diploma out of ransom? I’m like, $250. So he goes, let’s go. Just, just let’s go.
00:19:21:05 – 00:19:49:33
Nick DeMarco
And I finally got it. And I just instantly realized the second I stepped foot on that campus, just the difference between where we went to college and there. And just everyone knows you people will try to help you versus you are a number and no one cares. And I just was like, okay, fine. So I finished there and I thought I was done.
00:19:49:37 – 00:20:17:06
Nick DeMarco
I literally thought I was done. And then I kept getting these, oh, I kept getting these emails, and I kept getting these ads that were showing up all the time for Full Sail University down in Florida, which is mainly an online school. And they’re like, well, we got a creative writing master’s degree. You could do that. And I was like, and the and the person, hold on, hold on.
00:20:17:06 – 00:20:24:40
Agent Palmer
So here’s my question before where we go to Full Sail. So what did what diploma did you get from Marywood?
00:20:24:45 – 00:20:26:54
Nick DeMarco
I got a master’s in cum arts.
00:20:27:07 – 00:20:38:16
Agent Palmer
So it’s just straight cum arts, right? Like basically what you already had as a baccalaureate, from Keystone because we were just communications majors.
00:20:38:30 – 00:21:02:59
Nick DeMarco
Specialization member. Well, you know, the story I tell with Keystone is that I’d only intended on going there for two years. And then when I met with my advisor, they went, hey, we’re doing this, bachelor’s degree. And I remember just looking at the person and going, well, my stuff’s already here, so I might as well just stay and do that, you know?
00:21:02:59 – 00:21:18:39
Nick DeMarco
So, like, so by the time I was staring at all this stuff from Full Sail, the 20 something within me that started college went well. You can get a second master’s degree just in case one breaks down.
00:21:18:43 – 00:21:20:06
Agent Palmer
Okay. All right.
00:21:20:06 – 00:21:51:55
Nick DeMarco
So that was my that was my that was really my my answer that I gave people because I just I looked at all of that as if I’m going to try to keep knocking on this door. And it’s not no one’s answering. I don’t know what else to do because the jobs that I’m taking are not, you know, I, I did work in the health services department, you know, taking care of people with autism.
00:21:51:59 – 00:22:21:11
Nick DeMarco
It was personally rewarding, but it was definitely a situation where almost every day I would come home and be like, why am I doing this? And people with, like, way less education are doing, like managerial jobs and all this other stuff. So I mean, my mom, even after all these degrees, was like, oh, so you’re going to get a PhD here, right?
00:22:21:16 – 00:22:24:24
Nick DeMarco
And I was like, mom, no, no, I am not.
00:22:24:29 – 00:22:32:13
Agent Palmer
You know, so the second master’s degree was definitely like, I’m done, right? I don’t I’m yeah. No more homework.
00:22:32:18 – 00:22:55:16
Nick DeMarco
Nothing. Yeah. Well I was done. And then like full sales like. Well, we have a journalism program. Right. And I went, well let me look at it. So I looked at it and like I talked to a few of the instructors and like, I just got this vibe of like, you are not going to be much help to me.
00:22:55:21 – 00:23:14:10
Nick DeMarco
I also know that because of when I was really taught journalism, my mindset and how I do things is very old school. And this was like, this is like journalism and like social media and like the internet. And I’m like, I don’t.
00:23:14:12 – 00:23:41:37
Agent Palmer
But I don’t, but but here’s the thing here. So I will go backwards then to go forwards. I, I wrote more hard news pieces than anyone else when we were on campus. Right. And and I crushed a teacher’s heart. We’re protecting the innocent here by saying I’m not going to pursue journalism after I leave this campus, but I never saw you as pursuing it either.
00:23:41:37 – 00:24:06:05
Agent Palmer
Like, I, I understand I could see you writing, but I never saw you as like maybe doing maybe, maybe if pushed features. Maybe. But there was never going to be a time when I was like, Nick’s going to be like, I don’t know, like headline news, like, no, like that was. And you and I never really even wanted like, like again, I did it.
00:24:06:05 – 00:24:21:38
Agent Palmer
I didn’t it was never like, we talk about big fish, little pond. I enjoy being big fish in Little Pond. But when I, when I, when I leave to go to real world and bigger pond, I don’t want to be big fish anymore.
00:24:21:43 – 00:24:47:54
Nick DeMarco
Yeah, yeah. I mean I just, I, I know and it’s funny you know, going to, you know, homecomings up at the college and everything. Like I fully realize that those years of my life with what I was doing, I rode that fine line between confidence and arrogance. I realize that now I realize that now, at almost.
00:24:47:58 – 00:24:58:21
Agent Palmer
Almost 40, it’s good to know that you think you rode that line because I did not, I was not, I was there was a line.
00:24:58:21 – 00:25:01:26
Nick DeMarco
I had way on the left, and then you were all the way on the right.
00:25:01:31 – 00:25:08:01
Agent Palmer
Well, if there was a line and you were dancing on it, I didn’t know where the line was anymore. I was just telling.
00:25:08:01 – 00:25:09:45
Nick DeMarco
Everybody that over it.
00:25:09:49 – 00:25:35:53
Agent Palmer
So I wish I was so. And if anybody thinks like listening to this show that has gotten to know me in the last little bit, that I am arrogant now, no, I have, I have Nick is here. And if he wanted to, he can attest to the fact that I am no longer nearly as arrogant as I once was.
00:25:35:57 – 00:25:53:54
Nick DeMarco
This is this is true. It’s kind of. It’s when you when you if you’re somebody who hasn’t really seen him or talked to him in a while, it’s kind of it’s a little shocking if it’s been like, if you’re somebody out there that it’s like, I haven’t talked to him in like 20 years, and then you talk to him, you’re going to be like, who is this person?
00:25:54:09 – 00:25:59:47
Nick DeMarco
What have you done with? What have you done with Jason? What have you done with him? Who are you?
00:25:59:56 – 00:26:14:23
Agent Palmer
I look, I look, I mean, we’ve I’ve, I’ve, I feel like I’ve become a completely different person and yet at the same time, the essence that was there back then, like it’s. Yeah, kind of maintained. Right.
00:26:14:28 – 00:26:14:59
Nick DeMarco
Yeah.
00:26:15:04 – 00:26:18:39
Agent Palmer
But so, so you finished Full Sail.
00:26:18:43 – 00:26:19:40
Nick DeMarco
00:26:19:45 – 00:26:50:51
Agent Palmer
And like when do you start doing the flea markets like where does this. Because because all I know at a certain point is that you’re working and you’re dealing with, with some mental health issues and you’re going through it and, and you’re, you’re, you’re trying for from afar. I mean, you know, you’re, you’re trying to live through it, which is I feel like exactly what I did as well.
00:26:50:51 – 00:27:00:29
Agent Palmer
Like, you just try and you wake up, you put on your pants and you go, even though, like, I don’t know, maybe not today.
00:27:00:34 – 00:27:02:08
Nick DeMarco
Right.
00:27:02:13 – 00:27:15:14
Agent Palmer
Right. But, like, at a certain point, there’s this part of you that’s like, well, I’m going to look, I don’t know where this comes from. Nick. Like, did you have a lot of video games? Like, I don’t understand, like, where does this kiss?
00:27:15:15 – 00:27:49:36
Nick DeMarco
Like, like. So it really comes from two things. So, first off, you know, while I was doing the work that I was doing and in, in health services, I was also writing about all these games, and I was reviewing them and, and, you know, freelance stuff for the most part, sometimes just things I was doing on my own just because I love doing it, that’s kind of something I’ve never lost over the years of just I keep hearing like, Doctor David Elliot in my head from from the college he went to.
00:27:49:50 – 00:27:55:05
Nick DeMarco
Just tell me, if you really love this, you won’t stop doing it. If you really love it.
00:27:55:10 – 00:28:15:11
Agent Palmer
Hold on, hold on. I have a problem with that statement. Why? Because I, I used to really love poetry, and, And just because I haven’t written any poetry in a long time doesn’t mean I will. I won’t again, and I’ve written one short story in the last decade, but it doesn’t mean I won’t go back to it.
00:28:15:11 – 00:28:19:03
Agent Palmer
But I’ve I’ve maintained writing well.
00:28:19:03 – 00:28:56:23
Nick DeMarco
Right. But that doesn’t mean you stopped, though. Like, stopped means like, I’m never doing this ever again. Like, ever. That’s what you mean. You should never, ever question a statement. A quote from a literary magician. That’s that’s who that man is to me. But anyway, so, so while I was doing that and kind of fell into some, some groups that also did podcasts, for, you know, various various systems and all that and kind of met all those folks that I’m still talk to.
00:28:56:27 – 00:29:32:02
Nick DeMarco
My wife was actually selling she crochets and does other crafts and was selling them at this little place in she was consigning them in a little space in the Sugarman flea market. And that space was like, hey, you know, we have some other areas in here that we’re letting people sell stuff in for $25 a month. And yes, I did have a lot of video games, but I also knew where I could get some if I wanted to sell them.
00:29:32:07 – 00:30:01:17
Nick DeMarco
And my wife was like, why don’t you just try it, like try it for a month? And the space was like, we won’t even charge you for the first month, okay? And then if it does right, then $25 a month and I did it. And the thing about it was, I realized very quickly, and it’s something that hasn’t changed, is that there’s not a lot of options for people in the area to get the stuff that I sell.
00:30:01:22 – 00:30:22:20
Nick DeMarco
On top of that, at a reasonable not, you know, I like to always use the term in a sane price. There’s not there’s really not. And I remember when I actually, true story when I moved in there and started selling in there, there was a gentleman who had been there forever selling in the front. He tried to buy me out.
00:30:22:25 – 00:30:52:45
Nick DeMarco
He didn’t want me there. So, you know, and I was so, so I knew I was on to something pretty quickly. I’ve just, just providing something that wasn’t there. I never looked at it as I’m going to try to compete with any of these other stores, I still don’t. I just always looked at it as I live in an area, I always tell people I have friends, you know, colleagues that live in Texas and in Florida, for example.
00:30:52:50 – 00:31:17:58
Nick DeMarco
And how here in northeastern Pennsylvania, there’s churches and bars over every corner in those states. There’s video game stores on every corner because there’s it’s such a big thing down there. So here there’s really not. And in the almost eight years that I’ve done this, there’s been even less places. There’s places that have closed in that time. So yeah, but that’s where it started.
00:31:18:02 – 00:31:52:01
Agent Palmer
All right. So it starts at a stall at the sugar flea market. But that’s obviously not where it ends. So obviously your wife is like, how about you do this? But obviously a suggestion of how bout you do this is very different than actually doing this. So like and and look I, I’ve never, I’ve never known you to be we’ll call it impulsive necessarily.
00:31:52:01 – 00:32:07:15
Agent Palmer
Right. Like so I want to know I’m going to do this. Like is it like is it weeks. Is it months. Like how long does it take you to start going? All right, I need to find a permanent space.
00:32:07:20 – 00:32:37:17
Nick DeMarco
I’m I’m well, I mean, yeah, I mean, I knew from so, so small business weekend every year we have a sale and I’ve been doing it since I started. So having all these people coming in, you know, this tiny space to start, I knew I had to do something different. That turned into a space of my own at Sugar Mints, which was at a, booth that was used to be.
00:32:37:22 – 00:33:02:18
Nick DeMarco
It used to sell, I think, hair supplies and stuff. So it was like purple. The walls were purple. But. And my wife was like, do you want to color them? I’m like, nah, you know, I don’t want to change the color. It’s fine. It it’ll make everything pop in here. So I, and it was one of the few places that actually had a door and like, a window, so, like, I could display stuff and and it went.
00:33:02:18 – 00:33:25:19
Nick DeMarco
So it went there. And then just in that a little bit of time, it was like, we’re going to have to think of something. And to be truthful, this was, what was this like 2016, 2017? Where, to be honest, nobody knew what the future of the flea market at Sugar Mints was going to be. Nobody knew somebody was going to.
00:33:25:23 – 00:33:45:46
Nick DeMarco
Somebody else was going to buy the building, and keep it a flea market in the one area there. It’s a huge building. So not knowing that future, I started looking for my own brick and mortar store. I’d like to just, you know, also toss in here because you asked. You said I never known you to be impulsive.
00:33:45:51 – 00:34:08:56
Nick DeMarco
I’m not impulsive. However, I am I am married to someone who knows when something kind of tugs at me. And I have the tendency of being like, my own worst critic, and I’ll talk, try to talk myself out of it. And she’s right there to go, well, what what? I’ll I’ll be there going. What happens if it fails?
00:34:09:01 – 00:34:29:03
Nick DeMarco
And she’ll be right there to say, well, what happen if it doesn’t? So I have this, presence in my ear that knows better than I, of if I don’t do this, if I don’t try this, I will feel worse than if I do. And it doesn’t work out. So. So, yeah, I mean.
00:34:29:07 – 00:34:39:53
Agent Palmer
Well, but here’s so you. I know where you are now. This was not you, but that was not where you first ended up from. Sugar mints. Right. Like you had your own kind of standalone.
00:34:39:55 – 00:35:10:10
Nick DeMarco
Yeah. So what had happened was I actually first looked in Dunmore and in Dunmore. I joke that, like, my last name is like Smith in Dunmore. Okay. It really is. And my parents are, you know, both fairly known people there. So I thought, well, I could look around, maybe somebody will own a building and I’ll be like, oh, I know your parents or whatever.
00:35:10:14 – 00:35:40:15
Nick DeMarco
And that actually did happen. However, I joke and say that I wonder if my father owed this person’s father money or something because I was looking at a spot right on the main drag there, just a little bit off to the side, and I thought, this will be good, this will be good. And I literally remember we called the guy and said, hey, we’re going to bring the money down and start bringing stuff down tomorrow.
00:35:40:20 – 00:35:53:56
Nick DeMarco
And he said, well, I’m showing somebody else it tonight. And we were like, okay. And he ended up selling it to them and it became a tattoo parlor, because we need more of those in northeastern Pennsylvania.
00:35:53:56 – 00:36:05:08
Agent Palmer
I’m sure there’s not enough. Yeah. I mean, look, you gotta you need variety. Sure. Not everybody can write. We can create the best mom tattoo. You got to have some options. I got it, sure.
00:36:05:12 – 00:36:23:17
Nick DeMarco
Fair enough. So, you know, it was getting close to. You know, I’m, like, trying to figure out because I’m, like, pretty much. We told, you know, we told Sugarman like we’re done. You know, Sugarman didn’t have any leases or anything. You pretty much just went month to month. And I just said, by this month, I’m done.
00:36:23:17 – 00:36:50:01
Nick DeMarco
I’m out. So having this fall through, it was like time crunch. So my wife finds this place up on route six. In, in, in iron. And they’re out to south side of Scranton. And I look at it, I’m thinking, well, it’s 1000ft². It’s got a back room. I think it’ll be good. So I moved in there.
00:36:50:06 – 00:37:17:00
Nick DeMarco
I don’t want to say it was like March of 2016 or 2017. I want to say probably 2017, but maybe 2016, I’m not sure. But I know it was March because I remember being really cold, moving everything out there. And my thought process was with just the people that have been coming to me at Sherman’s will be like, oh, it’s just ten minutes up the road, if that.
00:37:17:04 – 00:37:47:41
Nick DeMarco
That’s cool. The sad part was it didn’t take long for traffic to foot traffic to just completely come to a screeching halt up there. And pretty much other than when I was doing sales, it was really slow. Like I had days where I made nothing. I mean, absolutely nothing. And throughout this time, I had someone pretty much in my ear every so many months, you should come to Steamtown.
00:37:47:46 – 00:38:12:33
Nick DeMarco
You should come to Steamtown. They have spots there. They’re looking for people. They’re trying to get people in here. And I kind of, like, shook it off because I kept hearing horror stories of, the rent is really high and that place is dying out, and you don’t want to have anything to do with that. And maybe they’ll get you in there, but then they’ll mess with you with with rent and everything, and you’ll be back to square one.
00:38:12:33 – 00:38:14:34
Nick DeMarco
You don’t want to do that. So yeah.
00:38:14:41 – 00:38:15:33
Agent Palmer
Real quick though.
00:38:15:47 – 00:38:16:21
Nick DeMarco
Yeah, I.
00:38:16:21 – 00:38:39:34
Agent Palmer
I want to ask of, like take a stroll to Nick’s mental state because you’re doing this, this is now your full time gig. How are you getting through these zero sale, like, very little foot traffic days? Because this is now what you’re doing.
00:38:39:39 – 00:39:09:51
Nick DeMarco
I mean, it’s it’s really hard for me, truthfully, sometimes not to take things so personally. And I’ll be honest, like, there were definitely times where I was like, oh, gosh, you know, I may not be trying to compete with these other stores, but, like, we’re not doing anything like, we’re not like, I’m not making, you know, like I basically always said, I’m not trying to compete with these other places.
00:39:09:51 – 00:39:36:09
Nick DeMarco
I’m just trying to give people another option. But there were definitely times where I felt like that didn’t matter to people in the area. It was, you know, just having the things that people wanted when they wanted them. You know, that’s another thing, is that with my business, there’s there’s very little buying this stuff online. There’s very little like, I don’t have a supplier.
00:39:36:14 – 00:39:56:06
Nick DeMarco
Like I go out and find this stuff it’s brought into me, I buy it, that’s the way it goes. So there is no like, hey, when are you ever going to have this 30 year old thing in that? I just realized one day that I want and it’s like, well, you have it tomorrow. Maybe, maybe I might. Okay.
00:39:56:11 – 00:40:27:54
Nick DeMarco
You know, but I don’t know that for sure. So I think, I mean, it affected me to a point, but I know that, you know, I, I was fortunate enough that during this time, you know, I made a lot of I made a lot of decisions with, my mental health. I found out a lot of things that I kind of faithfully adhered to that were actually making me worse over the years.
00:40:27:59 – 00:40:51:20
Nick DeMarco
So I was in a better overall place to kind of deal with this stuff. Obviously, I definitely had moments where I was very, very down about it. I don’t think I was ever at the point where I may have been like, well, I’m frustrated and I don’t want to do this anymore, but I never meant it.
00:40:51:25 – 00:41:31:34
Nick DeMarco
I was just like, I’m so agitated, I don’t know what to do. Why isn’t this working out okay? But I think I really though in retrospect, just how fast things were actually growing and that a lot of the places I was at, I grew out of like a lot quicker than I thought I did. And I made a decision based on, you know, the last place I was like, oh, well, if I go ten minutes up the road, everybody who’s coming to me every Saturday and Sunday is going to come up here, no, that didn’t happen.
00:41:31:38 – 00:41:53:15
Nick DeMarco
And also, you know, no offense to those wonderful people, but other than the ones that have followed me throughout the entire time, you know, I had a store in an area that there was very little around it. The people in the area weren’t necessarily people who had like, hey, I have $500 laying around. I don’t know what to do with it.
00:41:53:15 – 00:41:59:39
Nick DeMarco
I’m going to buy a whole bunch of video games. I wasn’t in an area where there were people like that. Okay.
00:41:59:43 – 00:42:18:48
Agent Palmer
So what? What? Before you make the move to, Steamtown, which for those of you not from the area, is a mall that we’re talking about, what do you do with the the space? Because obviously the space you have in your your space is much more than you had. Sugarman.
00:42:18:52 – 00:42:50:06
Nick DeMarco
Yeah, yeah. So I mean, I finally, after we had actually done, a few craft shows down at what is now called the Marketplace at Steamtown. And I looked around and I actually, I have, believe it or not, I have a I have a soft spot for the building because I remember when it was built, I remember watching on TV as a like a 12 year old kid, them knocking all these buildings down and building this mall and so.
00:42:50:06 – 00:42:51:04
Nick DeMarco
Well, hold on.
00:42:51:09 – 00:43:03:32
Agent Palmer
Hold on. Because you also have to put it into perspective too. We were of an age where malls were still a thing. We were probably the last generation where malls were still a thing.
00:43:03:37 – 00:43:06:49
Nick DeMarco
Absolutely. So yeah, yeah.
00:43:06:54 – 00:43:31:44
Agent Palmer
I, I and I love the idea that you’re back there like I, I don’t know why. Right. Like because at this point. Right. Like I, you know when you’re watching that get built, I’m in Honesdale and now Scranton or Sugarman actually and Dickson City and all that is now the closest big city to me.
00:43:31:49 – 00:43:33:37
Nick DeMarco
Yeah. So yeah I know.
00:43:33:37 – 00:43:46:38
Agent Palmer
We came into town like I mean I know what that was like. And in my other formative years that’s where you couldn’t, there was nothing to do. Right. You had to go to Scranton.
00:43:46:43 – 00:43:51:20
Nick DeMarco
Right. That’s true. Yeah. That’s, that’s that’s absolutely true.
00:43:51:20 – 00:44:03:48
Agent Palmer
In fact that’s what I that’s how I tell. That’s how I make sure people understand how small a town I grew up in was. Because Scranton is the big city.
00:44:03:53 – 00:44:04:08
Nick DeMarco
Right?
00:44:04:08 – 00:44:08:11
Agent Palmer
Like, that’s it’s not but it’s not.
00:44:08:16 – 00:44:12:26
Nick DeMarco
But in comparison. Yes. Yeah. Yeah, yeah I.
00:44:12:26 – 00:44:20:40
Agent Palmer
Know. So the craft shows that you were doing at this point, is it just your wife’s stuff or have you started to.
00:44:20:42 – 00:45:00:07
Nick DeMarco
No I don’t I started doing, you know, pixel art, you know, I started making stuff and you know, we, we were doing shows Christmas time and, you know, and the old globe store building, which is now a commissioner’s office, I think, and, you know, some other shows and I just, you know, I had done a few down there and we looked around and I, you know, that same person telling me she really, you know, actually the the owner of a store called, fill your bags down at Steamtown, which is a all handmade store.
00:45:00:10 – 00:45:34:03
Nick DeMarco
It’s all crafts and, you know, crochet and stuff. And so I finally, you know, talk to them down there and it was not an easy process, to be honest with you, because I had to talk to, like, three different people over two weeks because I was told beforehand, listen, they’re going to hit you with, this is what we want, and you’re going to have to be like, you’re going to have to be someone that you’re not normally, and that is someone who is willing to negotiate and wheel and deal.
00:45:34:08 – 00:45:54:49
Nick DeMarco
And I was not prepared for that at first. I went from being told, hey, yeah, we could, you know, do a two year lease for this spot, or. No, we could do a year on these other spots that we’ve showed you, but this one that you have your eye on, we might have to do more than a year.
00:45:54:54 – 00:46:23:57
Nick DeMarco
And I said, okay, well, you tell me what you’re looking for and get back to me then I’m told no. The gentleman who owns this building wants to charge $10 per square foot. I think it was 8 or 10. And I said, well, I’ve done the math. I said, and that’s like 25, that’s like $2,500 or something. I said, are you guys looking for like a regional or national chain store to move in here?
00:46:24:02 – 00:46:52:05
Nick DeMarco
And they said, no, we’re we’re trying to have all local businesses. And I went, well, local businesses can’t afford that. I said, so after two weeks, I said, so I got married and I have this really, really nice swell income tax check because I got married. I said, so I can give you first month’s and security deposit based on what I was paying, where I was.
00:46:52:10 – 00:47:11:58
Nick DeMarco
Or you can stare at this place being empty for another 8 to 12 months. Your choice. So after doing that, I get told, okay, you know, you can do that for for rent, what you were doing. And I said, well, what about the lease? Is it like two years? And they’re like, yeah, we’ll do it for two years.
00:47:12:02 – 00:47:32:38
Nick DeMarco
But I had to negotiate for two weeks to get in there, and I didn’t at one point. I didn’t think it was going to happen just from hearing from like two different people from going from okay to I don’t all we want per square footage. So that was a learning curve for me to have to do that, because I don’t do that well.
00:47:32:38 – 00:47:56:33
Agent Palmer
And you don’t. But like the way you handled it was like, I see that as a Nick solution, right? Like you did you you didn’t negotiate so much as you were like, nope, nope, nope, nope. This is how it is. I’m just going to be honest with you. So you move in. I that’s the store I have been to.
00:47:56:38 – 00:48:01:18
Agent Palmer
And and you, you’ve created a game room. And so.
00:48:01:21 – 00:48:02:13
Nick DeMarco
Yeah.
00:48:02:18 – 00:48:28:51
Agent Palmer
Like. Yeah, you’ve I showed up there and went like, Holy shit. Nick’s doing well. Like. And it’s not like it’s it’s not so much a shock as much as it. Well, this is not where I saw Nick. You know, we are we are at more than a decade beyond our graduation. This is not where I saw you.
00:48:28:51 – 00:48:50:26
Agent Palmer
Like, maybe. Maybe Nick’s got a couple books under his belt. But not Nick’s. Got a business, right? It’s. Yeah, it was so. And seeing you behind the counter of your own, like, it’s just. It boggles the mind. The first time I saw it.
00:48:50:40 – 00:48:53:51
Nick DeMarco
Yeah. You’re not the only one, though. But many.
00:48:53:53 – 00:49:15:18
Agent Palmer
But you haven’t. But I know, I know, you haven’t given up on the other stuff, so I want to know how have you found the time to be a, like, full, you know, employee number one and boss and owner and still find time to be creative with words?
00:49:15:22 – 00:49:45:15
Nick DeMarco
Yeah, I mean, I just well, first off, I was a, And I’ll definitely put, the, quotation marks on either side of this. I was a genius and thought that I could run that store seven days a week, and I would never get tired, and all we could. And that I remember telling my wife that, and she just went,
00:49:45:20 – 00:50:11:43
Nick DeMarco
Yep. Sure. And probably within. Oh, I don’t know. Probably about a week or two of doing that. I went, I can’t do this every day. Like I need to have some time away from this because to do the other things and to kind of, because, yeah, the more I did this that I felt, you know, those other things kind of slipping away a little bit.
00:50:11:43 – 00:50:38:49
Nick DeMarco
And I didn’t want them to because, you know, they’re they’re me just as much as this stuff is. Fortunately, you know, I had a customer that I had had for several years, and we brought him in, we brought KG and and CJ’s there Tuesdays and Wednesdays. And I am not I am not, I am home, I am away from all of that.
00:50:38:54 – 00:51:02:49
Nick DeMarco
And I’ve managed to, you know, get e-books out there into the stratosphere, some some poetry books I’m working on, kind of a memoir of, you know, of the, you know, the the mental health stuff. And also just kind of how, how meditation and, kind of a more holistic approach to things have kind of helped me.
00:51:02:54 – 00:51:40:07
Nick DeMarco
So I’m working on that. And a collection of short stories. So I’m, I’m still doing the stuff. I’m still I’m still chugging away at it. Because, you know, I know I knew I needed to do that because I could never turn all that other stuff off. I could never say. And truth be told, I had a hard time coming to terms with the fact of like, hey, is it like, totally cool if I’m like, if I feel good about doing all these things?
00:51:40:07 – 00:52:24:54
Nick DeMarco
Or should I only do this one thing and just forget about the rest of it? But I just couldn’t, you know, I don’t think I don’t think deep down, I don’t think I ever could do that. So I had to come to terms with the fact of like, hey, you’re never going to stop being all of these things, and you need to make time to do these other things, or else you’re going to be miserable doing this one thing, because as, my wife and, other people who have worked with me at my store, there are definitely times where I have been, not so pleasant because I’m tired or, as they
00:52:24:54 – 00:52:36:57
Nick DeMarco
can both attest, around this time of year when our sale is rolling around, I’m like a nervous wreck because I want everything to be absolutely perfect. You know, so well.
00:52:37:02 – 00:53:01:44
Agent Palmer
And so I, I mean, as as one of the guys who knows your process, you do want things to be perfect and, and and and I’ve also been a guy who’s I haven’t run my own store, but like, I’ve been a part of retail. Perfect is really hard in retail. You have got to be like you.
00:53:01:44 – 00:53:29:12
Agent Palmer
I you’ve got to be able to give up a little of something in order for these things to happen, right? I mean, was it just Band-Aid like, oh, like, because obviously, like, today’s the sale. Like, you can’t put any more days between you and the sale or, like, okay, this thing is happening. It’s done. Like, so has it been like that first year it was ripped the Band-Aid off?
00:53:29:16 – 00:53:34:59
Agent Palmer
It’s not the way I want it, but the second year does it. Has it gotten easier, I guess. Is my question like.
00:53:35:03 – 00:54:08:56
Nick DeMarco
It’s it’s gotten easier in the sense that, like, I know and I understand, I understand my process with it to get prepared or better prepared earlier. I’m also I also know that I will not, and I’ve just come to accept that I will not stop stressing about it and having enough items for it until the day off.
00:54:09:01 – 00:54:37:26
Nick DeMarco
And then I’ll be fine, then I’ll be fine. I’ll be like the most cheery festive person there is. But until then, I’m always like, today I was I had to go and get some more stuff for it because I look at what we have for it and I go, oh, well, this one particular category of things is like really strong.
00:54:37:31 – 00:54:47:14
Nick DeMarco
But over here we have next to nothing. And I got to try to even this out a little bit more, or else I’m going to hyperventilate.
00:54:47:19 – 00:55:14:59
Agent Palmer
So has have you been able to turn this around on your creative pursuits and be like, oh, okay. It doesn’t have to be as perfect. I just I just need to be prepared because I hear you. But then I go, yeah, but if I put him in front of a computer or like a typewriter, or gave him a pen and a pad of paper, he would still be scribbling, be like, nope, nope, I can get I have to add a syllable to this.
00:55:15:08 – 00:55:29:24
Agent Palmer
And the rhyme scheme on this is like, I just, I just like. So have you been able to take that approach of what you’ve learned from the store and, like, apply it to other parts of your life, or are you still okay? No, no.
00:55:29:29 – 00:56:03:55
Nick DeMarco
I have, because the thing about it is, I’ve I’ve come to realize and I, I do think without getting too, too deep into it, I, I know that, I know my mind is like this 250 mile an hour like tornado. That just doesn’t stop. So with what I’ve been doing over the last like two years with with meditation, with, you know, things of that nature, it’s slow.
00:56:03:55 – 00:56:31:43
Nick DeMarco
It has slowed things down to the point where I can say, okay, the person who would normally do this would be like, this isn’t good, and this is crap. And I got to start over. And not to say that that person doesn’t still exist, but I am aware of it and I don’t let that part of me kind of take over.
00:56:31:47 – 00:57:00:59
Nick DeMarco
I am still working on, you know, years and years if, you know, talking myself out of things and being like, no one’s going to want to read this anyway, so why should I even bother doing that? I have days like that. Absolutely. But I think now as long as it is authentic and as long as it is me, it doesn’t have to be whatever I would deem perfect.
00:57:01:11 – 00:57:35:29
Nick DeMarco
It just it has to be whatever it needs to be for whoever needs to read it. That’s the way I kind of look at things now versus, you know, in our in, in our quote unquote heyday where I would, you know, leave like legal pads and composition books littered with scribbles and like, I think, I think I was one step below, like having, like my own red pen and being like, this is terrible.
00:57:35:29 – 00:58:03:07
Nick DeMarco
You need to redo this. You know, like, I think I was probably one step below that, but nowadays I just, I don’t know, I just I just realized that as long as what I know my voice to be and through the things I’ve been through in my life, as long as that comes out and what I do, it doesn’t have to be perfect.
00:58:03:07 – 00:58:25:26
Nick DeMarco
It just has to be whatever, I guess. So I use the term because I think with what I write, I think it’s this feeling of I don’t want I feel like I experience things that I feel things that other people have. And it’s a similar, the similarities there or, you know, kind of connect, with the reader.
00:58:25:26 – 00:58:48:36
Nick DeMarco
And I think as long as I get that out on a piece of paper or on a computer screen, the idea of perfect is, I don’t want to say it’s non-existent, but it’s not, it’s not what you would typically consider perfect. And I don’t go through things with, like, as much of a fine tooth comb as I would normally.
00:58:48:36 – 00:58:54:00
Agent Palmer
Do. You still have access to all of those things? And those pads from way back in the day?
00:58:54:09 – 00:59:25:35
Nick DeMarco
Oh, of course I do. I still have, you know what’s funny? With what I had posted, on Facebook, my wife did not get that joke that like, that was our meeting. Yeah, I didn’t understand that. Yeah. So I had to explain that to her and be like, listen, our initial meeting was not it was not a representation of the rest of our, relationship and our comings and goings.
00:59:25:35 – 00:59:26:27
Nick DeMarco
I would just say that.
00:59:26:30 – 00:59:30:05
Agent Palmer
No, no, no, I know it wasn’t.
00:59:30:10 – 00:59:43:56
Nick DeMarco
But for in lieu of doing this today, I actually, paged through what I had a if you remember, I had a blue composition book that was Nick’s book of quotes and goodbyes.
00:59:44:08 – 00:59:47:25
Agent Palmer
I had one, too. I had one too.
00:59:47:30 – 01:00:14:56
Nick DeMarco
So. And I had passed that around to everyone, including you. And I read what you wrote. And the fact is, I just love I love everything that’s in that book. But I love the fact that you wrote and tied everything together at the end. Oh, I’m sorry. No. In the intro you begin with how we met and that how far we had come from that initial meeting.
01:00:15:00 – 01:00:20:39
Nick DeMarco
And I just remember reading that and just going, yep.
01:00:20:44 – 01:00:54:30
Agent Palmer
So, I mean, look, we are both obviously different people. It it’s amazing how far apart we became at one point and yet still kind of went through similar journeys. And I like obviously with the blog, I’m still writing on a regular basis. And again, this podcast may be more than anything is my, perfect is the enemy of good type scenario.
01:00:54:30 – 01:01:23:27
Agent Palmer
Because if if I was going for perfect episode one of this show never drops, like I’m still like I spent years trying to figure out what the perfect podcast for me was going to be. So like, I’ve, I’ve come to that and retroactively went like kind of similar to what you’re doing in in a different pursuit, which is like, if I’m writing a book review, am I getting across to people that I liked it and that they would probably like it?
01:01:23:27 – 01:01:51:49
Agent Palmer
For these reasons, I don’t need every comma to be in the right spot because I look, it’s it’s weekly and I have other things going on, like like you like we we can not just be the quote unquote slaves to art that we thought we might be. Like there was a part where I think we both thought we would be artists.
01:01:51:49 – 01:02:19:18
Agent Palmer
I don’t think either of us, you know, I don’t think you go back on that campus, especially when you think of like, that sophomore year when it’s like, do we stay because I was in a boat, whereas like, do I stay to her? But like, you go back to that person and like I, I don’t think we had a good remote idea of like what was going to befall us, but also where we were going.
01:02:19:18 – 01:02:28:36
Agent Palmer
Right? Like I, we both wrote for the paper prolifically. Like, I feel like if if it weren’t for us, there would have been like no paper on that.
01:02:28:40 – 01:02:37:58
Nick DeMarco
That’s not that’s not entirely true. It just would have been like 90% horoscopes and something else. So not true.
01:02:38:01 – 01:03:07:22
Agent Palmer
Not okay. Okay, okay. The horoscope would have come out monthly, but, you know, but like, but I feel like I look at that and I go like, it’s ironic that we were both doing that and so involved, and yet that wasn’t what our passion was. That’s not what we wanted to do. Like, I know we had both kind of wavered on maybe like getting a job in journalism, but it wasn’t the dream job for me.
01:03:07:27 – 01:03:39:34
Nick DeMarco
Well, no. And I don’t want to say necessarily that, you know, straight up, you know, journalism was what was my job to be. I just know that with I look at writing, I well, you know, this is true writing for me, when I first started, it was literally because I could not speak to the opposite sex. I couldn’t talk, I would just be I would just I couldn’t talk.
01:03:39:39 – 01:04:16:25
Nick DeMarco
And I was very, very, very shy. And then that just kind of took over, almost like anybody that I really didn’t know that. Well, I just couldn’t talk. So writing became like, this is the only way I know how to communicate and communicate confidently. And what did end up happening over time is I realized that I was really, really good at telling stories, and I was really, really good at getting my my point across.
01:04:16:25 – 01:04:45:24
Nick DeMarco
I was someone that for as shy as I was when I spoke about things that were important to me and I wrote about them, I wrote with the same conviction that I would often speak. So I don’t think I ever said, yeah, I want to do like the headlines in the news. I definitely think at one point the idea of doing editorials was there for me.
01:04:45:29 – 01:05:26:01
Nick DeMarco
But the problem was I realized that just in being on campus, I realized that was like, okay, well, where I think I’m going to go after this, you know, I think and I believe in my, you know, 20 something self that someone’s going to be out there and is going to want me to voice out my opinion because, hey, ever since I was a little kid, I just had this issue with systems and I had this issue with why are they broken?
01:05:26:06 – 01:06:02:40
Nick DeMarco
And the thing about it was when we went to school there, that little kid that got, you know, threw a little bit out there, sprinkled a little bit out there, and the world went, hey, now you you shouldn’t be talking about this stuff. We don’t want you doing this kind of stuff. And I actually, even though it made me nervous, the little kid inside of me that would often just like, see a broken system, but not do anything about it was like, oh man, look what she did.
01:06:02:45 – 01:06:26:30
Nick DeMarco
You’re paying attention to you. And so I think I definitely thought that was there for me. But I think I also realized when I left there that even those jobs of just like, hey, I’m going to voice my opinion whether you want to hear it or not and get paid for it. There were none of those jobs there.
01:06:26:35 – 01:06:45:48
Nick DeMarco
Those were already filled by a whole bunch of former children who thought the system was broken and didn’t say anything about it, and then got older and did it. And it had been already been doing it for like ten, 15, 20 years before me. And we’re like, I’m not going to let somebody else do this. I’ve been doing it.
01:06:45:53 – 01:07:02:08
Nick DeMarco
So there was no room for the quote unquote, loose cannon ball, out there in the stratosphere. There was no room for me. So I just went, all right, well, I guess that’s not going to work.
01:07:02:13 – 01:07:07:13
Agent Palmer
I, I never saw you as a loose cannon. I saw me as the loose cannon.
01:07:07:18 – 01:07:17:28
Nick DeMarco
Right. Well, I think in certain cases, I think we were just. I truly believe in certain circles we were an entity within our set, within ourselves.
01:07:17:42 – 01:07:18:11
Agent Palmer
But it didn’t.
01:07:18:16 – 01:07:20:04
Nick DeMarco
The whole idea that there was that happened.
01:07:20:15 – 01:07:23:05
Agent Palmer
But that happened at the end, right? Like.
01:07:23:10 – 01:07:37:15
Nick DeMarco
Oh, yeah, it did. It did happen at the end. But what I’m saying is, is there? Even before that, though, there was definitely this feeling of there’s not one without the other. If there is one, the other one is not far behind.
01:07:37:16 – 01:08:02:11
Agent Palmer
Well, we did, and I will admit we did take a lot of classes together, which kind of helped that. But I also feel like it’s you and I are like those stories, those kids stories. We’re like the two. The two protagonists are not together and they can’t beat the demon until they are joined together. And we weren’t truly together until that capstone year.
01:08:02:16 – 01:08:13:35
Agent Palmer
And then the objective was graduate, and we we we we won the game like we happy ending like, well I mean for that chapter but happy ending right?
01:08:13:39 – 01:08:32:19
Nick DeMarco
Right. Yeah I mean I’m hearing the end theme to Super Mario World in my head, as you say, that they’re happy and that’s great. It’s fantastic. You.
01:08:32:23 – 01:08:59:49
Agent Palmer
I think there are a few things that wrap this episode up. The first is that your journey to where you are may be as unexpected as Nick running a business, instead of running an editorial column. What we set out to do or be, isn’t necessarily where we end up, and that isn’t a bad thing. Nick is happy, and given the conversation that you just heard, he may be the happiest and healthiest I have ever known him to be.
01:08:59:54 – 01:09:22:25
Agent Palmer
And again, where he is right now is not where he set out to be. Oh, so many years ago, when we were both in class together. I am actually very impressed by Nick’s progression, his ability to understand his need for creative balance, and his willingness to meditate, and that he has done it enough to understand that it does work to slow his mind down.
01:09:22:30 – 01:09:46:31
Agent Palmer
Well, good for you, Nick. Nick’s understanding of his own creative and personal evolutions is also something that I envy, because I do have a problem separating those things to me or for me. They are so very intertwined. But like Nick, neither of our stories is over. They are always ongoing and evolving and who knows where we will go.
01:09:46:36 – 01:10:15:37
Agent Palmer
But we’re open to the journey and we chronicle that journey in different ways across our various mediums. I believe the one thing that took the longest for both of us is finding our voice. We now know what our voice is, and we have evolved from writing perfect into making sure we get the idea across, which is quite the evolution for the both of us especially had you spent time with us way back when on that campus.
01:10:15:42 – 01:10:41:12
Agent Palmer
So here’s my question for you. Have you found your authentic voice? And if you have, how has it evolved since you first founded? Thank you for listening to The Palmer Files episode 34 A Few Addendums. Before we get into the official business. My capstone project was already released on this show as an episode of this podcast, and it was number 24 to change your luck.
01:10:41:12 – 01:11:04:31
Agent Palmer
So that’s what I was working on. And Nick and I did talk about mental health, though only briefly. So I urge everyone interested in more of my story at least, or just more of a discussion on the topic to check out. Episode 13. My anxiety conversation with Neil from Dark Angels and Pretty Freaks. And also you can get Nick’s books on Amazon.
01:11:04:31 – 01:11:27:18
Agent Palmer
Links are available in the show notes. And now for the official business. The Palmer Files releases every two weeks on Tuesdays. If you’re still listening, I encourage you to join the discussion. You can tweet me at Agent Palmer or the show at The Palmer Files. Nick still isn’t on Twitter, but you can find his shop on Facebook. That’s facebook.com, slash Nick D’s video game vault.
01:11:27:18 – 01:11:59:10
Agent Palmer
Or just search Nick D’s video game Vault. That’s the apostrophe s or D s in the URL, and you can also find him on Instagram at Nick DS, which is Nick DSV. You can see all of my writings and rantings on Agent palmer.com. And of course email can be sent to the show The Palmer Files at gmail.com. If you have any feedback on this or any previous episode, or if there’s a topic or guest you’d like me to consider.
01:11:59:15 – 01:12:05:02
Unknown
You.
01:12:05:07 – 01:12:13:08
Unknown
Can.
01:12:13:13 – 01:12:25:25
Unknown
Leave me.
01:12:25:30 – 01:12:35:27
Unknown
Any.
01:12:35:32 – 01:12:39:00
Unknown
C.
01:12:39:04 – 01:12:42:52
Agent Palmer
Hey, Nick, do you have one final question for me?
01:12:42:56 – 01:13:05:12
Nick DeMarco
You know what? Actually, I do have a question. It is a it is a burning question. So one of my favorite stories that I always like to tell was the story of when you asked to go for breakfast with my roommate and I, because we always went for breakfast and you said, hey guys, I want to go for breakfast with you and I.
01:13:05:14 – 01:13:23:41
Nick DeMarco
We went, dude, you’re not going to get up. You never get up. You’re up really late. No no no no no, I’ll be up, I’ll be up. So, my roommate and I went down to your room. You had your door cracked. We went in. You were. You were out. You were sleeping. I tried to wake you up.
01:13:23:45 – 01:13:33:12
Nick DeMarco
He literally picked the bed up. Yep. And was slamming it. Were you awake for this? I just decided I wasn’t getting up for breakfast.
01:13:33:14 – 01:13:54:23
Agent Palmer
You know, I’m I. I must have had passed out suddenly. I’ve heard you tell this story. I’ve heard him tell this story. I remember the aftermath, I remember. Hey, dude, we tried to wake you up. I remember that part of it. I do not remember him picking up. I don’t I.
01:13:54:23 – 01:14:02:06
Nick DeMarco
I I’m honestly surprised you still lived because he picked that bed a couple feet into the air, a couple feet into the air. Man.
01:14:02:11 – 01:14:28:07
Agent Palmer
All right. But let’s let’s let’s paint the picture real quick. This was like 8:00 in the morning. And I there was a point after like sophomore year where I had 1:09 a.m. class for the next two years. So, like, I, I used to I would stay up later and later and later. So I probably went to bed an an hour before this.
01:14:28:12 – 01:14:45:15
Nick DeMarco
Yeah. After asking like, do you know, like the like, you know, like the old school cartoons where there is like two like, you know, bigger dogs that go and do something like they do one thing every day and there’s this little dog that’s like, oh, come on, guys, I want to go with you. I come on, guys, I want to go with you to be great.
01:14:45:20 – 01:15:03:55
Nick DeMarco
And the two dogs are like, no, because you’re just you’re not you’re not reliable. You’re not going to be there. You’re just you’re not going to show up now, guys. No, guys, I’ll be there. I’ll be there. Don’t worry. I’ll I’ll crack my door open. I’ll be there. So we’re just going to ignore that part that that this is what you wanted.
01:15:03:59 – 01:15:08:34
Nick DeMarco
This is what you asked for.
01:15:08:39 – 01:15:11:31
Agent Palmer
Okay, I was tired. It was college. Really?
01:15:11:32 – 01:15:18:29
Nick DeMarco
Well, I, I wanted him to come bring breakfast and just drop it right on. You just drop on pancakes and everything.
01:15:18:29 – 01:15:29:03
Agent Palmer
I can imagine you sitting at breakfast with him just being like, we’re going to. We’re going to dump some, like, coffee on his bed, right? Like something, something.
01:15:29:07 – 01:15:29:29
Nick DeMarco
Yeah.
–End Transcription–
This transcription was processed by PalmerTech 3.1 and may contain errors for HUMINT (human intelligence).