Ted Official Movie Poster


Writers: Seth MacFarlane, Alec Sulkin, Wellesley Wild

Director: Seth MacFarlane

Release: June 29, 2012

Tagline: Ted is coming.

Producer(s): Jason Clarck, John Jacobs, Scott Stuber
Co-Producer(s): Eric Heffron, Mark Kamine

Stars/Actors: Mark Wahlberg, Mila Kunis, Seth MacFarlane, Joel McHale, Giovanni Ribisi, Patrick Stewart

Music by: Walter Murphy

Production Company: Universal Pictures

Genre(s): Comedy, Fantasy

ID: tt1637725

Rating: R

Runtime: 106 minutes

Synopsis: From the creator of Family Guy comes a movie about John Bennett, whose wish of bringing his teddy bear to life came true. Now, John must decide between keeping the relationship with the teddy bear or his girlfriend, Lori.

Declassified by Agent Palmer: Ted: Live action Family Guy that’s just as funny but…

Quotes and Lines

Narrator: Now if there’s one thing you can be sure of, it’s that nothing is more powerful than a young boy’s wish. Except an Apache helicopter. An Apache helicopter has machine guns AND missiles. It is an unbelievably impressive complement of weaponry, an absolute death machine.

Ted: There. Proof. Garfield’s eye look like a pair of tits.

Lori: I don’t – I don’t understand. I really don’t. You’re 35 years old and you’re still scared of a little thunder?
John: I am not!
Ted: Thunder buddies for life, right, Johnny?
John: Fucking right.
Ted: Alright, come on, let’s sing the thunder song.
John: Alright.
John, Ted: When you hear the sound of thunder, / Don’t you get too scared. / Just grab your thunder buddy / And say these magic words: / “Fuck you, thunder! / You can suck my dick! / You can’t get me thunder / ‘Cause you’re just God’s farts!”

Ted: You can sing any 90’s song with just vowels.

Narrator: No matter how big a splash you make in this world whether you’re Corey Feldman, Frankie Muniz, Justin Bieber or a talking teddy bear, eventually, nobody gives a shit.

Ted: I look like Snuggles’ accountant