Sterling Archer says Phrasing

A Rant by Agent (Sterling?) Parker

On the hunt for some inspiration for a Father’s Day article recently, I started digging through the endless number of online pieces about “man caves” – the temples of testosterone, haven of hangovers.

Two unexpected entries crossed my Google feed, thanks to a pair of stories previously published in the Times Leader in Wilkes-Barre, Pa. The articles outline the apparent trend (although the articles were from 2010 and 2012) of “mom caves” or “woman caves.”

To quote Sterling Archer, “Phrasing!

I hope I’m not some kind of pervert for immediately leaning towards this interpretation, but does “mom cave” remind anyone of, oh, I don’t know, a vagina?

To me, mom cave is a “womb,” not a “room.” It’s a place of comfort for an unborn baby, not a place to go to ignore the now-born child by creating hand-knit goods that won’t fit him or her after three months.

And pardon my ignorance, but weren’t man caves created to give men a place to feel comfortable in their own homes? I, for one, have a very small place of respite – it’s a closet that I cleaned out and wiggled a tiny desk into so I could have a space to complete my design work.

I hope the trend – and more importantly the phrasing – or “mom caves” never truly caught on. If it did, please pardon me while I go crawl into an actual cave and die.

Agent Parker is a Northeastern Pennsylvania-based artist, writer, father and geek. Follow his nonsense on twitter @PeterParker_Pa and see his pop culture goodies at