Agent Palmer

Episode 170 with my lovely wife Stefanie, who is back to talk surviving our first year as parents…

You’ll hear about milestones, guilt, patience, memories, sleep, plus how time has no meaning and much much more…

Mentioned and Helpful Links from This Episode

AgentPalmer.com

You and Me makes Three

Adventures as New Parents

Other Links

Remembering Lilith Fair and lamenting the progress left behind

Eyes of the Dragon made we want more from Delain, but maybe not from Stephen King

Stefanie Stershic was a Special Guest Executive Producer

Music created and provided by Henno Heitur of Monkey Tongue Productions.

–End Show Notes Transmission–

–Begin Transcription–

00:00:00:01 – 00:00:18:49
Agent Palmer
Previously on Jim palmer.com. Remembering Lilith Fair and lamenting the progress left behind. Eyes of the Dragon made me want more from Dylan, but maybe not from Stephen King and Jon’s episode gave me plenty to think about and listen to. This is The Palmer Files episode 170 with my lovely wife Stephanie, who is back to talk about surviving our first year as parents.

00:00:19:00 – 00:00:29:28
Agent Palmer
You’ll hear us talk about milestones, guilt, patients, memories, sleep, plus how time has no meaning and much, much more. Are you ready? Let’s do the show.

00:00:29:33 – 00:00:53:29
Stefanie Stershic
That that’s what mundane was. And now you have a child. Nothing is ever mundane. Because when we got married, it wasn’t jumping off a cliff. We can see the progression in these photos, because when you’re in it, you don’t necessarily notice it as much. We’ve definitely built more core memories.

00:00:53:31 – 00:00:54:14
Agent Palmer
Oh yeah, that’s.

00:00:54:15 – 00:00:56:43
Stefanie Stershic
What is more memories during this.

00:00:56:54 – 00:00:58:42
Agent Palmer
Than we did in our entire relationship.

00:00:58:42 – 00:01:03:55
Stefanie Stershic
Before. Yeah. Although I think the first time he tells me no, it.

00:01:03:55 – 00:01:05:43
Agent Palmer
Was like I’m gonna be crushed.

00:01:05:44 – 00:01:08:43
Stefanie Stershic
So I’ll be like, I don’t know what to do.

00:01:08:48 – 00:01:28:21
Agent Palmer
Hello, and welcome to the Palmer Files. I’m your host, Jason Surfshark, also known as Agent Palmer. And on this 170th episode is my beautiful wife, Steph. She’s back because 20 episodes ago, we announced the birth of our child. And then we discussed our first experiences as parents very much in the moment. Now, with some short hindsight, but hindsight nonetheless.

00:01:28:24 – 00:01:51:20
Agent Palmer
We talk about surviving our first year as parents. Topics range from milestones and growing to memory, and the return of coffee to Steph’s daily routine. What parent powers we might form. Do we have patients guilt and we end on a conundrum of some significance. But before we get there, remember that if you want to discuss this episode as you listen to her afterward, you can find all related ways to contact us in the show notes.

00:01:51:29 – 00:02:05:33
Agent Palmer
Don’t forget, you can see all of my writings and rantings on Agent palmer.com. And of course, email can be sent to the Palmer files at gmail.com. So without further ado, let’s get into it.

00:02:05:38 – 00:02:07:13
Agent Palmer
So we have a one year old.

00:02:07:18 – 00:02:11:11
Stefanie Stershic
Yeah we do. Can you believe that? It’s been a year.

00:02:11:16 – 00:02:13:36
Agent Palmer
I mean, yes and no.

00:02:13:41 – 00:02:20:48
Stefanie Stershic
Yeah. I mean, I’m the same way I both. It definitely feels like it’s been a year, but also at the same time, it also does not feel like it’s been a year.

00:02:20:53 – 00:02:32:53
Agent Palmer
Before you’re a parent. And I mean, after you turn 12 from like 13, 15, 14 whenever you stopped caring about birthdays as milestones.

00:02:32:58 – 00:02:34:09
Stefanie Stershic
That depends on the person.

00:02:34:11 – 00:02:48:14
Agent Palmer
Okay. Fair enough. So from 21 on You know when everybody. But whatever you only have an annual milestone right. Like that’s your real thing. Maybe you have Christmas, maybe you have New Year’s, which is the same thing.

00:02:48:15 – 00:02:49:31
Stefanie Stershic
Anniversaries.

00:02:49:36 – 00:03:05:12
Agent Palmer
If you have an anniversary, but you you have milestones for the most part annually. So everything feels like a year. You know, it’s New Year’s. Hey, can you believe where we were last year? Or it’s, you know, your birthday? Wow. Another year.

00:03:05:12 – 00:03:07:38
Stefanie Stershic
Older. The holidays have rolled around. The holidays are past.

00:03:07:49 – 00:03:25:18
Agent Palmer
The holidays are here again. Yeah. All that. Yeah. So much happens in those years that it feels like a year. So much has happened in the last year. It feels like so much more than a year.

00:03:25:23 – 00:03:26:52
Stefanie Stershic
Yeah. It’s a that’s valid.

00:03:27:01 – 00:03:45:29
Agent Palmer
You get used to certain things. Sure. And then they change. And I’m talking about specifically like how long the clothes that we put our child in were newborn, which was like a day.

00:03:45:33 – 00:03:46:21
Stefanie Stershic
Like yeah. Yeah. That was like.

00:03:46:21 – 00:03:49:52
Agent Palmer
Maybe a week or so then. Then 3 to 6.

00:03:49:57 – 00:03:51:56
Stefanie Stershic
Yeah.

00:03:52:01 – 00:03:54:02
Agent Palmer
6 to 9. Now you’re just.

00:03:54:02 – 00:03:54:54
Stefanie Stershic
Nine. Yeah.

00:03:54:56 – 00:04:19:55
Agent Palmer
12 plus whatever those kind of changes that you physically see, it’s like, oh, okay. So there’s this whole pile of clothes that we cannot use anymore, that kind of stuff. Or eating more and more and more until you’re like, I like the bottles we used to feed now, like are gigantic compared to like, that first week. Yeah, those are little changes.

00:04:19:55 – 00:04:35:00
Agent Palmer
But we got used to each step along the way. Like we got used to putting him in these onesies or feeding with these bottles, and then all of a sudden he’s like, no, no, this one and then this one. And it and all of those massive changes for us because we’re new.

00:04:35:09 – 00:04:35:45
Stefanie Stershic
Yeah.

00:04:35:50 – 00:04:46:07
Agent Palmer
All feel like they took place over months. But like looking back because it’s only been a year. We know that like some of that was only a couple of weeks or maybe a couple months.

00:04:46:08 – 00:05:06:44
Stefanie Stershic
Yeah. But I think also the kind of the way that it worked out, it was like, oh, grow, grow, grow, grow, grow. Like it seemed like initially it was all happening so fast that, like, things weren’t lasting long and then it slowed down. You stretch out. He didn’t gain as much weight. Like it all evened out, which is what kids do.

00:05:06:46 – 00:05:11:59
Stefanie Stershic
Like they grow, grow, grow, grow, grow. And then at some point, they even now that they grow, grow, grow, grow and then even out.

00:05:11:59 – 00:05:30:19
Agent Palmer
So if you were to say like the last, the last few months felt like a year, maybe more so than the first few months, because like, and look, we talked about it when we talked about having a kid in the first few months and all that stuff. Like, we’re not going to rehash all of that. No, but that was a different time.

00:05:30:19 – 00:05:34:54
Agent Palmer
It feels like it feels like that was. It feels like there was another lifetime ago.

00:05:34:54 – 00:05:36:15
Stefanie Stershic
It does. It feels like it was forever.

00:05:36:15 – 00:05:45:02
Agent Palmer
And it’s not even like a year ago. It was. That was a completely different thing. But I want to I want to ask you a very specific question.

00:05:45:07 – 00:05:45:41
Stefanie Stershic

00:05:45:45 – 00:06:00:39
Agent Palmer
We got married. What? As? As of this release, recording, like 18 months ago. Give or take. You were my wife. I was your husband for about, let’s say let’s be generous. Let’s say five months.

00:06:00:52 – 00:06:03:09
Stefanie Stershic
Yeah. I was like four months maybe.

00:06:03:14 – 00:06:04:00
Agent Palmer
And then.

00:06:04:15 – 00:06:05:20
Stefanie Stershic
And then we became mom and.

00:06:05:20 – 00:06:13:23
Agent Palmer
Dad and then you been mom, but that was going to be my question. So like, we, I know we were together for a long time. It’s not like we’re on you.

00:06:13:23 – 00:06:14:00
Stefanie Stershic
It is.

00:06:14:05 – 00:06:33:37
Agent Palmer
Instead of being like friends, like we only had a few months to be like. And this is my husband and this is my wife. And now all of a sudden I yell up to you for what you want for dinner. And it’s not. Hey, hun, it’s. Hey mom. Well like I now call you.

00:06:33:37 – 00:06:34:35
Stefanie Stershic
Not that often.

00:06:34:39 – 00:06:36:19
Agent Palmer
But I call you mom.

00:06:36:30 – 00:06:38:07
Stefanie Stershic
Around him.

00:06:38:12 – 00:06:50:30
Agent Palmer
Even when he. Yeah. Even when the kid is asleep I call you mom like I, I am now is. So it’s like this is the. This is the weird thing of the last year. You’ve become a mom.

00:06:50:35 – 00:06:51:29
Stefanie Stershic
I well, yeah.

00:06:51:40 – 00:06:56:38
Agent Palmer
No no no no no no, you I, I have my mom. But then I call you mom.

00:06:56:39 – 00:06:57:30
Stefanie Stershic
Call all the moms.

00:06:57:32 – 00:07:04:15
Agent Palmer
And it’s just such a. You were my wife for like, three minutes. And now all of a sudden, you’re just mom.

00:07:04:20 – 00:07:17:44
Stefanie Stershic
Which I think is okay, because it wasn’t like we needed to get used to that. Because, like you said, we’d been together for a really long time, and being and being married didn’t change really anything other than it was. Now, you know, we were legally a couple.

00:07:17:44 – 00:07:20:53
Agent Palmer
I’m more comfortable to introduce you as my wife. And this is my girlfriend.

00:07:20:58 – 00:07:24:35
Stefanie Stershic
Oh, yeah. Because you would even say you’re partner because you didn’t want to say.

00:07:24:36 – 00:07:27:03
Agent Palmer
Your girlfriend feels like I’m a teenager again.

00:07:27:05 – 00:07:35:11
Stefanie Stershic
It’s like, oh, but because it didn’t change much for us, I think it also didn’t necessarily matter that we didn’t get to settle in to those roles, so to speak.

00:07:35:20 – 00:07:36:03
Agent Palmer
That’s fair.

00:07:36:03 – 00:07:45:35
Stefanie Stershic
I just we just kind of moved on. But I don’t call you dad, though. Like, I still call you the same things that I only call you dad in front of him like I, because I want to try to get him used to that.

00:07:45:36 – 00:07:50:14
Agent Palmer
Well, that’s a hold to getting him to talk. Yeah, thing. But I, I.

00:07:50:19 – 00:07:54:38
Stefanie Stershic
I it hasn’t. Yeah. It hasn’t changed when I call you like I’m not going to call you. Hey dad.

00:07:54:47 – 00:07:57:53
Agent Palmer
No.

00:07:57:58 – 00:08:02:20
Stefanie Stershic
I use your name or I still say honey or honey, I.

00:08:02:20 – 00:08:09:18
Agent Palmer
Just it’s I, but I talk, I maybe it’s just because I’m lazy and like, I call you mom a lot more when he.

00:08:09:22 – 00:08:10:49
Stefanie Stershic
I don’t notice it.

00:08:10:49 – 00:08:11:21
Agent Palmer
I know you.

00:08:11:21 – 00:08:15:54
Stefanie Stershic
Got noticed it. Yeah. So I guess that also means that that that I’ve gotten very.

00:08:15:54 – 00:08:16:18
Agent Palmer
Good for.

00:08:16:20 – 00:08:21:50
Stefanie Stershic
Being a mom. Because I don’t notice what I’m being called mom by you, and it doesn’t seem weird.

00:08:21:52 – 00:08:42:20
Agent Palmer
But that’s just one of the things that it’s like, all right, so in this last year, like, and I yeah, I understand that the moment birth happens, you become mom and dad. Like I get that. But you and even even though we we wanted it. Yeah we tried for it. We succeeded.

00:08:42:20 – 00:08:43:19
Stefanie Stershic
Yeah.

00:08:43:23 – 00:09:03:46
Agent Palmer
Still different. Like, it’s just there’s just something about. Okay. And then, you know, you get through the first three months. I still don’t understand how we recorded that. But last bit like, like, I think back on, like. Okay, so when was that? Okay. And like, you, you hadn’t gone back to work yet. So it was in the first three months.

00:09:03:46 – 00:09:03:59
Agent Palmer
I was in.

00:09:03:59 – 00:09:04:26
Stefanie Stershic
The first three.

00:09:04:26 – 00:09:09:22
Agent Palmer
Months that we recorded it. We didn’t release it right away, but like, we recorded it still in there.

00:09:09:24 – 00:09:11:41
Stefanie Stershic
We’re still sleep deprived.

00:09:11:46 – 00:09:14:59
Agent Palmer
Yeah. We were sleeping tonight. No, anything. And now, although.

00:09:14:59 – 00:09:31:26
Stefanie Stershic
Shortly thereafter he was already sleeping through the night. So it’s like, I know we got really lucky. So yeah, I even that like that seems so long ago that the. Because you always hear like all the sleep deprivation not being able to sleep and all the crying and the feeding and the cold.

00:09:31:26 – 00:09:43:31
Agent Palmer
And in an email this week, I was reaching out to some people I haven’t talked to in a year, two years, three years. And I, I had mentioned to somebody, oh.

00:09:43:36 – 00:09:44:34
Stefanie Stershic
I got married and I.

00:09:44:39 – 00:09:58:51
Agent Palmer
I got, I got married and we have a, we have a soon to be one year old. Yep. And the response was genuine, like, are you getting any sleep? And I was just like, yeah, but like that would have been a valid question. Like like nine months ago.

00:09:58:55 – 00:09:59:51
Stefanie Stershic
Yeah. So long ago.

00:09:59:51 – 00:10:05:45
Agent Palmer
But we we kicked him out of our room. Yeah. And it was just like all right. It.

00:10:05:50 – 00:10:12:17
Stefanie Stershic
Yeah. And he slept like like like I said, we put him into his crib, laid him down, and he just.

00:10:12:17 – 00:10:29:12
Agent Palmer
Yeah, that is the thing. That’s the one. That’s the one. Maybe more than clothes is the pack and play and the crib and how when we first put him in there. Yeah, it was massively.

00:10:29:17 – 00:10:30:19
Stefanie Stershic
It was like freaking was.

00:10:30:25 – 00:10:51:04
Agent Palmer
It was like putting a micro machine in, like, like a a cake tin or whatever. And now it’s like, what, what do we like? I don’t know that that can contain him. Yeah. And the crib, it’s like one of these days I, I, I feel like it feels like any minute now he’s going to be able to reach, stretch and reach end to end.

00:10:51:09 – 00:11:12:10
Agent Palmer
Like, yeah, I know we’re not there yet, but like, it feels like any day. Yeah. And those kind of things. And I know we’ve got friends that we see. We’ve got family and friends that we send pictures to. Yeah. As, but as, as best we can. And we don’t I don’t know if this is things leveling off.

00:11:12:19 – 00:11:13:20
Stefanie Stershic

00:11:13:25 – 00:11:17:57
Agent Palmer
We don’t take nearly as many photos as we used to. No, I.

00:11:17:57 – 00:11:20:44
Stefanie Stershic
Think it don’t. It kind of depends, though, I would say.

00:11:20:58 – 00:11:22:37
Agent Palmer
Do you think you’re taking as many photos?

00:11:22:46 – 00:11:35:24
Stefanie Stershic
Maybe not as many, but it maybe not as often. But when he does specific things, there are still a lot of photos being taken because there’s certain things like certain milestones, like.

00:11:35:29 – 00:11:38:04
Agent Palmer
Hey, I’m crawling, standing up on my body.

00:11:38:09 – 00:11:42:30
Stefanie Stershic
Pulling himself up like those types of things where,

00:11:42:35 – 00:11:44:30
Agent Palmer
And we used to take pictures.

00:11:44:39 – 00:11:45:02
Stefanie Stershic
Well, yeah.

00:11:45:04 – 00:11:46:00
Agent Palmer
Not daily.

00:11:46:08 – 00:12:02:06
Stefanie Stershic
But a lot more because like I said earlier on, so there was a lot of change. So it was, it was like looking like, oh, we could do we can see the progression in these photos because when you’re in it, you don’t necessarily notice it as much. You kind of look at like that, almost like before and after.

00:12:02:11 – 00:12:07:49
Agent Palmer
It’s the photos for you. Yeah, that you look at and you see like oh man. Like occasionally.

00:12:07:54 – 00:12:10:58
Stefanie Stershic
Well that’s how you can also tell like just how much time has passed.

00:12:10:58 – 00:12:24:39
Agent Palmer
Well and we, we like, we both cleaned off our phones. Yep. I mean, because we did take so many pictures, just like. All right, let’s offload all the photos clean. And I think I kept like three from like, the early days.

00:12:24:39 – 00:12:30:59
Stefanie Stershic
And I guess that is also a way that you can tell that we are taking slightly less photos and videos because we haven’t had to clean off my phone again.

00:12:31:01 – 00:12:43:33
Agent Palmer
Yes. No no no. Yeah. You’re we probably used a lot more than me. But it’s, it’s those people because we have I would say between the two of us, we both have like 30 people.

00:12:43:38 – 00:12:44:45
Stefanie Stershic
Selfie.

00:12:44:50 – 00:12:45:35
Agent Palmer
No.

00:12:45:40 – 00:12:46:50
Stefanie Stershic
Oh, just. You just mean in general.

00:12:46:52 – 00:13:13:11
Agent Palmer
In general, there’s 30 people that get photos of the child. It’s not I don’t it’s not like take a photo, send it to 30 people. It’s like, take a photo. This one goes to five, always the grandparents and then a few others. And then like uncles, this photo goes to other aunts and uncles or friends or whatever. And it’s it’s in those threads when I go like, all right, I haven’t sent one to my aunt in a while.

00:13:13:16 – 00:13:16:54
Agent Palmer
And it’s like, oh, I see the last one we sent. Yeah. Oh my God.

00:13:16:54 – 00:13:17:36
Stefanie Stershic
Yeah.

00:13:17:40 – 00:13:18:52
Agent Palmer
That’s nuts.

00:13:18:52 – 00:13:35:23
Stefanie Stershic
Yeah. Or like your parents have photos on like in their house and on the fridge from, like, the day he was born. And then we’ll go visit and it’s like, I’ll hold him and, you know, and then look at the fridge and go, how? It’s like, look how tiny.

00:13:35:24 – 00:13:45:36
Agent Palmer
And I really, I don’t know. So the other thing we hear, other than are you sleeping. Yep. Do the common cam and it is it goes fast and enjoy it.

00:13:45:41 – 00:13:49:55
Stefanie Stershic
And it’s a light. It’s like enjoy it now because it’s going to change. He’s going to be walking any minute.

00:13:49:55 – 00:14:08:58
Agent Palmer
No. And we look I understand change is the natural progression until about fit the well. Physical change is a is a long thing. Oh yeah. Just going to grow and grow and grow a natural life. Part of it. And it’s the emotional and like becoming a singular person unto yourself. And I’m excited for that as well.

00:14:09:03 – 00:14:10:28
Stefanie Stershic
Yeah, absolutely.

00:14:10:32 – 00:14:21:02
Agent Palmer
But the, the enjoy it part, I don’t know that I am I guess I wanted to ask like, do you, do you think you’re I mean, I get a lot of time.

00:14:21:07 – 00:14:21:47
Stefanie Stershic
More.

00:14:21:52 – 00:14:22:12
Agent Palmer
I get.

00:14:22:12 – 00:14:24:44
Stefanie Stershic
More sunlight because I am working, you know.

00:14:24:48 – 00:14:30:35
Agent Palmer
You work from home. Yep. I have a part time gig from home, but mainly I’m childcare during the day.

00:14:30:35 – 00:14:31:06
Stefanie Stershic
During the day.

00:14:31:15 – 00:14:37:45
Agent Palmer
And so I. And I don’t take that for granted. And when he cranky.

00:14:37:54 – 00:14:38:42
Stefanie Stershic

00:14:38:46 – 00:15:07:51
Agent Palmer
And I, he needs to take a nap and I have to hold him and then he falls asleep on me for 2.5 hours. Like I understand that those are moments that like we’re may I mean we may or may not be growing out of them as we speak. I have no idea when we last one of those is going to be and I, I try and take time to enjoy it, but I don’t know how because it’s 2.5 hours and a not just staring at him sleeping for 2.5 hours.

00:15:07:51 – 00:15:09:30
Agent Palmer
That’s just a little creepy.

00:15:09:35 – 00:15:10:09
Stefanie Stershic
It’s a little weird.

00:15:10:09 – 00:15:11:08
Agent Palmer
Little, little weird.

00:15:11:10 – 00:15:14:53
Stefanie Stershic
Well, plus, depending on the angle, it would be hard to, like, stare down at him anyway.

00:15:15:00 – 00:15:18:52
Agent Palmer
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I mean, I, I think I am, I think I’m enjoying.

00:15:18:52 – 00:15:36:17
Stefanie Stershic
I, I’m going to say yes, I had by and large aside from like you said, but that’s a part of having a baby and raising a baby is that they’ll be the moments where they’re cranky or upset and and loud and noisy and screech like a raptor. But I think.

00:15:36:19 – 00:15:40:41
Agent Palmer
I don’t think every child screeches just like a raptor.

00:15:40:45 – 00:15:41:29
Stefanie Stershic
No. Just hours.

00:15:41:39 – 00:15:47:08
Agent Palmer
I don’t know if it’s just hours, but I’m saying I don’t think it’s every child. Okay? I’ve been around other babies.

00:15:47:08 – 00:15:48:38
Stefanie Stershic
I’ve never heard high pitched.

00:15:48:38 – 00:15:56:15
Agent Palmer
Like they all have a high pitched squeal. He’s just happens to be like, right out of the original Jurassic Park velociraptors.

00:15:56:20 – 00:16:03:02
Stefanie Stershic
But I would say, you know, overall, yes, I am enjoying being a parent.

00:16:03:07 – 00:16:19:03
Agent Palmer
No, I mean, are you do you feel like you’re taking time to enjoy just the moment of you have a nine month old, you have a ten month old, you have a you have a one year old. Like, do you feel like you’ve like, can you like ignoring the photos? Do you have the mental like go back in?

00:16:19:14 – 00:16:24:03
Agent Palmer
Okay, I, I kind of remember. Yeah. That was yeah. Whatever that was.

00:16:24:03 – 00:16:26:24
Stefanie Stershic
Yeah I can, I mean some of it is, is.

00:16:26:24 – 00:16:27:10
Agent Palmer
Is a blur.

00:16:27:18 – 00:16:42:55
Stefanie Stershic
A blur is is difficult. But then I think that’s also why the photos and the videos help. And I think why you take so many especially kind of as from like birth until you know, whenever just to, to remember it, especially early on when you are still sleep deprived. But.

00:16:42:56 – 00:17:05:12
Agent Palmer
Well, that was the thing. Right. And we I think that’s the one thing we talked about and we’re still doing it is we write down as food. Yeah. Because even now, what was yesterday’s dinner? What was yesterday’s lunch. So let’s try and vary it up. And even especially maybe especially when you go, when you get out of sleep deprivation, but you go back into work.

00:17:05:12 – 00:17:06:46
Stefanie Stershic
Yeah. There’s a lot going on.

00:17:06:46 – 00:17:07:47
Agent Palmer
There’s still a lot more.

00:17:07:47 – 00:17:24:08
Stefanie Stershic
Going on changed, whereas we’re no longer really doing it as far as keeping track of how much he’s eating or keeping track of what it is, it’s it’s more what because of of, you know, having to introduce him to new foods and things is you got to keep track of it to say like, okay, he’s had this new thing and he’s adding to this new thing in this.

00:17:24:09 – 00:17:25:53
Stefanie Stershic
So these things are no longer new.

00:17:25:53 – 00:17:26:49
Agent Palmer
With the exception that.

00:17:26:49 – 00:17:27:59
Stefanie Stershic
We don’t have allergies.

00:17:27:59 – 00:17:32:16
Agent Palmer
With the exception that we didn’t write down French fries, which he’s, on occasion.

00:17:32:18 – 00:17:33:21
Stefanie Stershic
Yeah.

00:17:33:26 – 00:17:33:50
Agent Palmer
You know, but.

00:17:33:50 – 00:17:37:21
Stefanie Stershic
It’s also like, who’s allergic to potato?

00:17:37:25 – 00:17:40:50
Agent Palmer
You know, I mean, there’s to I’m sure there’s someone, you know, I.

00:17:40:50 – 00:17:48:13
Stefanie Stershic
Mean, I guess by, you know, the law of averages, I’m sure. Yes, there probably is somebody on the earth that is lucky to potato, but that poor individual.

00:17:48:13 – 00:17:58:43
Agent Palmer
But I think that’s why like. And you do most of the feeding. Yeah. And I think well that’s a very tough job.

00:17:58:48 – 00:17:59:46
Stefanie Stershic

00:18:00:32 – 00:18:01:26
Agent Palmer
I life and.

00:18:01:26 – 00:18:03:45
Stefanie Stershic
He like to spit it out everywhere.

00:18:03:50 – 00:18:04:45
Agent Palmer
I like just for fun.

00:18:04:45 – 00:18:07:54
Stefanie Stershic
Like it wasn’t that he didn’t like it here. Just like oh this is fun. I’m just going to go with it.

00:18:08:00 – 00:18:14:38
Agent Palmer
But I like you’re giving that to you because it feels like it makes up for missing out on like, four hours.

00:18:14:44 – 00:18:16:43
Stefanie Stershic
It’s just. Yeah.

00:18:16:48 – 00:18:18:21
Agent Palmer
Being adorable or.

00:18:18:25 – 00:18:37:18
Stefanie Stershic
And that’s why I think I am taking the time to enjoy it. Because even though I am working and I’m lucky to be able to work from home so that it can afford me time to do things like just step away from my desk, go downstairs and just have a cuddle with him. Like, just pick him up, look at his smiling face and be like, I feel better, you know?

00:18:37:18 – 00:19:03:32
Stefanie Stershic
And and those are the things that I actually I’m enjoying just having him, you know, nearby were. And it’s funny because I have friends in the, in the UK that one of them specifically is always like, I don’t know how you get anything done because I would just want to sit there and just stare at his adorable little face like, no, I know, and I absolutely do that if I need a break from work is like, I’ll go and I’ll just enjoy a little bit of time with him and then feel better go back to work.

00:19:03:37 – 00:19:22:22
Stefanie Stershic
So I think that those types of things is kind of like my examples of, yeah, I am taking time to enjoy it because I’m not. That’s not a oh. I’m going to like go see what he’s doing and take pictures of it or do it not. I’m just I’m just enjoying just spending some time with him and then kind of going back to whatever it is that I was doing.

00:19:22:26 – 00:19:33:57
Agent Palmer
Yeah. And I still feel like, I mean, we haven’t gotten to a point because winter cold at my office is. Yeah, not right.

00:19:34:02 – 00:19:37:29
Stefanie Stershic
Temperature regulated now because it’s an unfinished it’s unfinished basement.

00:19:37:29 – 00:19:38:09
Agent Palmer
But,

00:19:38:14 – 00:19:39:55
Stefanie Stershic
You were even cold down here in the winter.

00:19:39:58 – 00:20:02:36
Agent Palmer
I’m really curious when we get when it warms up. Will listening to me edit in, you know, enable a nap? Will that unlock a nap? Right, because, that kid would listen to me specifically my episodes. And I don’t know if it’s my voice.

00:20:02:45 – 00:20:04:53
Stefanie Stershic
Probably there’s, there’s something there.

00:20:04:56 – 00:20:24:41
Agent Palmer
Yeah, yeah. But I could edit this show without headphones and just, just be quiet. And, you know, I wonder if that will still hold. When, when spring, when it’s warm enough. Yeah. To to have a coeditor down in the office, I don’t know.

00:20:24:50 – 00:20:31:15
Stefanie Stershic
It’s during the warmer months. You would. You would bring him down here. We had a pack and play set up, and and you do your thing and I try.

00:20:31:17 – 00:20:47:24
Agent Palmer
Yeah. It was very like I’ll. Yeah. I mean, that’s the kind of thing where you were talking about your friends. I didn’t it wasn’t true. Like productive like I, well you know I yeah. Instead of, instead of whatever my normal editing time is. Oh it took a lot.

00:20:47:26 – 00:20:51:54
Stefanie Stershic
A little bit longer. Yeah. Because it’s like, oh, what’s he doing over there. What what’s. Well.

00:20:52:03 – 00:20:55:28
Agent Palmer
And then wants to join the conversation.

00:20:55:28 – 00:20:56:01
Stefanie Stershic
Oh, yeah.

00:20:56:06 – 00:21:20:44
Agent Palmer
And so talking to a podcast is boring. So then I’m, I’m like, all right, well, I’ll, I’ll talk to you. I’ll we we can do this. And then it’s like, all right, well, I haven’t edited for 20 minutes now. Like, oh, whoops. Yeah. I should get back to that. No, I yeah, I’m, it’s very weird how natural.

00:21:20:49 – 00:21:27:23
Agent Palmer
And I hesitate to say this, but easy it felt to just be dead. Yeah.

00:21:27:28 – 00:21:29:25
Stefanie Stershic
It it has it’s it’s it.

00:21:29:25 – 00:21:32:13
Agent Palmer
Can’t be this easy for everybody I don’t think.

00:21:32:18 – 00:21:49:52
Stefanie Stershic
No, I think it’s for us. Depends on on the child, the family dynamic. There’s a lot of factors. But I think for, for us like us as a, as a, as a couple, as a family that like the three of us now it’s become very second nature. Like it, it almost just seems like we’ve been parents for a lot.

00:21:49:52 – 00:21:57:28
Agent Palmer
Longer than a year, honestly. Well, this is why when we started, I brought up I was getting married because it feels like I’ve been a parent for longer than we’ve been.

00:21:57:30 – 00:22:06:39
Stefanie Stershic
And we were well, we have been well, no I wouldn’t no, no, no, we haven’t been parents for longer than we’ve been married. No. But, Yeah. No, I get what you mean. It feels.

00:22:06:39 – 00:22:10:04
Agent Palmer
That way. Like when I think back, I’m like, yeah, I know we got married.

00:22:10:09 – 00:22:15:22
Stefanie Stershic
Because we were a couple. We’ve been a couple for so much longer. And then marriage, like marriage happened and.

00:22:15:27 – 00:22:17:46
Agent Palmer
It was just like a second by comparison.

00:22:17:52 – 00:22:24:33
Stefanie Stershic
Even though we’re still married. But it’s just like the, the, the, the act of getting married.

00:22:24:38 – 00:22:29:21
Agent Palmer
The legal status was such a short time because then it went to.

00:22:29:25 – 00:22:35:08
Stefanie Stershic
Now we’re parents now, and that’s the main focus. It’s no longer marriage is the big thing. So like, no.

00:22:35:12 – 00:22:42:11
Agent Palmer
You remember aside from waiting, When is this happening? When is the thing getting out of me?

00:22:42:13 – 00:22:51:43
Stefanie Stershic
Yeah. I mean, I just refer to as him as a thing, but yes. Yeah. I mean, I was very ready towards the. You were.

00:22:51:43 – 00:23:00:13
Agent Palmer
Very right. But, it was still I remember like, let’s say two years ago. Oh. Do you remember what we did two years ago?

00:23:00:17 – 00:23:01:28
Stefanie Stershic
No. Like, like, do.

00:23:01:28 – 00:23:04:44
Agent Palmer
You remember life before? Because I genuinely certain parts.

00:23:04:44 – 00:23:33:21
Stefanie Stershic
Yes, but not as as well. And I don’t know if that’s just because of, you know, having, having, a parent brain that’s like, oh, now everything includes this child and it’s, you know, this is now our life, that it is hard to remember certain things like, I like I think recently, I had a my birthday was in January and we were just sitting there thinking like, okay, so last year around my birthday, I was pregnant, so we couldn’t do anything.

00:23:33:26 – 00:23:35:29
Stefanie Stershic
What did we do the year before that?

00:23:35:30 – 00:23:36:39
Agent Palmer
No clue. Not no.

00:23:36:39 – 00:23:47:26
Stefanie Stershic
Idea. We had no idea. What we did was like, I’m pretty sure we went out and we did something, but I don’t know, I can’t remember in the year before that I’m like, The only thing I remembered was.

00:23:47:33 – 00:23:49:32
Agent Palmer
One of them, my one of them my.

00:23:49:32 – 00:23:57:34
Stefanie Stershic
35th birthday, because it was kind of like it was like a milestone birthday, 35, that we went out to a.

00:23:57:36 – 00:23:58:40
Agent Palmer
Fancy restaurant with a.

00:23:58:41 – 00:24:18:27
Stefanie Stershic
Fancy restaurant with your parents and and, our our good friend. Yeah. That’s it. And that I remember because. But I’m associated with 35, but from from from 35 until now, like, I, I don’t remember what we did for all those other birthdays because there were definitely birthdays, but there’s a 35 and 39.

00:24:18:31 – 00:24:46:32
Agent Palmer
Yeah. And I, I’m thinking even just like normal days, like, yeah, we’d get up, I’d always make coffee. I still do that. Yeah. You know that that that’s, that’s the one thing that’s remained. And then here’s the thing. Well, I then you went to work and I usually went to work. Yep. I didn’t have nearly I had a lot more time, and not nearly as much to work on.

00:24:46:32 – 00:24:48:31
Agent Palmer
I have less time now and more to work on.

00:24:48:31 – 00:24:49:02
Stefanie Stershic
Yeah.

00:24:49:07 – 00:24:54:12
Agent Palmer
And I still get it done. And I still think back and go, what did I what was I do? Like I have no.

00:24:54:12 – 00:24:55:09
Stefanie Stershic
Clue.

00:24:55:14 – 00:25:10:58
Agent Palmer
What I was doing. I just it it’s gone. He’s completely wiped from my I can still remember things I did in college. I cannot remember what I did the year before. We had a child. Yeah, not a clue. It’s gone.

00:25:11:03 – 00:25:32:33
Stefanie Stershic
I know I, I was streaming, I remember that I did streaming for a little bit. And then of course there was the, the black hole that was Covid because it’s like that all time went wonky around there because that that stretched on for so long. And yeah, I think for me it’s it’s also one of those things where our new routine.

00:25:32:38 – 00:25:34:57
Agent Palmer
It’s not that different from our.

00:25:35:02 – 00:25:35:57
Stefanie Stershic
Different is what I.

00:25:35:57 – 00:25:37:30
Agent Palmer
Can’t remember because.

00:25:37:34 – 00:25:40:16
Stefanie Stershic
We get up a lot earlier. At least I do.

00:25:40:18 – 00:25:41:16
Agent Palmer
You get up, get.

00:25:41:18 – 00:26:00:09
Stefanie Stershic
Up a lot earlier than than I really used to before. And it’s like initially I was like, I miss sleeping in. But now I’ve just gotten used to it. Like, it’s one of those things where I think you get used to it. I’ve never really been a morning person, like getting up early, but I do now because I feed him before work and then I go to work.

00:26:00:14 – 00:26:02:47
Stefanie Stershic
He used to be like, I would roll out of bed like five, ten minutes.

00:26:02:49 – 00:26:04:23
Agent Palmer
This is why the cat.

00:26:04:27 – 00:26:05:09
Stefanie Stershic
Like you better.

00:26:05:09 – 00:26:09:55
Agent Palmer
Like me better. Because I would get up to make coffee and first one up feeds the cat.

00:26:09:58 – 00:26:10:58
Stefanie Stershic
Yeah.

00:26:11:03 – 00:26:16:20
Agent Palmer
Rest in peace, buddy. Like, is it, you know, that’s. But now.

00:26:16:25 – 00:26:16:58
Stefanie Stershic
Yeah.

00:26:17:03 – 00:26:26:02
Agent Palmer
I mean, it could be first one up feeds the kid, but we don’t do it that way. No, And my making coffee fuels you for the morning.

00:26:26:02 – 00:26:28:48
Stefanie Stershic
Yeah, I definitely drink a lot more coffee now.

00:26:28:53 – 00:26:29:46
Agent Palmer
Well, but.

00:26:29:51 – 00:26:31:47
Stefanie Stershic
I don’t know if that was if that was becoming a parent.

00:26:31:47 – 00:26:39:00
Agent Palmer
Or that’s. It’s not a fair comparison for you, though, because you went cold turkey off of coffee for nine months when you were pregnant.

00:26:39:04 – 00:26:41:59
Stefanie Stershic
Yeah. So no longer if you count the.

00:26:41:59 – 00:26:42:40
Agent Palmer
Oh yeah.

00:26:42:44 – 00:26:44:59
Stefanie Stershic
The, the pregnancy before that, did.

00:26:44:59 – 00:26:54:34
Agent Palmer
You even start drinking coffee in between when we were trying in between, I don’t remember I don’t I think you were just like, hopefully this will take at some point and we’ll just do it again.

00:26:54:34 – 00:26:55:19
Stefanie Stershic
So yeah, you’re.

00:26:55:19 – 00:26:55:46
Agent Palmer
Almost.

00:26:55:53 – 00:26:57:41
Stefanie Stershic
The same thing with alcohol like I didn’t.

00:26:57:50 – 00:26:58:46
Agent Palmer
You didn’t pick that up.

00:26:58:46 – 00:27:05:26
Stefanie Stershic
And pick it back up. So you basically but again I think I almost had like coffee here and there in between but not really.

00:27:05:27 – 00:27:10:19
Agent Palmer
So that’s almost 80 almost to it’s almost it’s a little under two years. So I.

00:27:10:20 – 00:27:10:47
Stefanie Stershic
Was making up.

00:27:10:47 – 00:27:15:03
Agent Palmer
For dry and didn’t have any coffee.

00:27:15:08 – 00:27:17:19
Stefanie Stershic
I’m making up for it now with like three cups a day. Well, and.

00:27:17:19 – 00:27:24:11
Agent Palmer
Then there was an attempt at breastfeeding, which we talked about, but that kept you from really drinking coffee.

00:27:24:11 – 00:27:24:43
Stefanie Stershic
Yeah, because they.

00:27:24:43 – 00:27:30:50
Agent Palmer
They they tell you not to. So now when, when that was behind us, it’s like, yeah, I want to drink coffee.

00:27:30:55 – 00:27:41:56
Stefanie Stershic
And, and especially earlier on when there were still kind of the lingering sleep, sleep deprivation, it was almost like, I need the coffee, I need the coffee, but it’s like, what’s the excuse now? I still drink the same amount, but.

00:27:42:01 – 00:27:43:43
Agent Palmer
You drink more. You definitely.

00:27:43:43 – 00:27:53:49
Stefanie Stershic
Don’t know. I’m in like the same amount as when I stopped the breastfeeding. I was like almost three cups a day and thinking that I needed it because of the sleep. And now you can sleep. And now I’m still about three cups, so I get more sleep.

00:27:53:49 – 00:27:58:01
Agent Palmer
It’s still fairly healthy. It’s not. Yeah, it’s not a crazy amount.

00:27:58:08 – 00:28:17:16
Stefanie Stershic
And the other thing that I cut out, which I’m it has been probably about a year now as well, is milk. I stopped drinking milk in my coffee. Yeah. And, and I’ve noticed a big difference because one thing that we’ve been doing also for about a year, maybe a little bit longer, is we’ve been keeping track of our weights.

00:28:17:21 – 00:28:18:57
Stefanie Stershic
Yeah. And they.

00:28:19:00 – 00:28:21:18
Agent Palmer
Do. It is seasonal like we do go up and down.

00:28:21:18 – 00:28:24:51
Stefanie Stershic
Oh yeah. I mean definitely went up a little bit around the holidays because of course you.

00:28:24:51 – 00:28:30:55
Agent Palmer
Do know, I mean yours does. Mine doesn’t mind goes up in the mind when it gets cold and snow is.

00:28:30:55 – 00:28:31:49
Stefanie Stershic
One less active.

00:28:31:53 – 00:28:33:23
Agent Palmer
One. Yeah. Yeah. That’s how it goes.

00:28:33:35 – 00:28:34:56
Stefanie Stershic
But that’s also the same for the holidays.

00:28:34:56 – 00:28:39:48
Agent Palmer
We were keeping track of it also because it allowed us in between visits.

00:28:39:53 – 00:28:42:29
Stefanie Stershic
Yeah. To to see how heavy he was getting whoever.

00:28:42:29 – 00:28:46:50
Agent Palmer
Whoever had the most even weight the most easy.

00:28:46:50 – 00:28:50:58
Stefanie Stershic
Would note that. And then we’d take the baby and we’d step on the scale with the baby, and then we just subtract.

00:28:50:58 – 00:29:08:45
Agent Palmer
Subtract. Yeah. And it was a way too, because especially early on, especially after. So you have the one week, the two week and then the four week, then you get, with all the four week and the one is the one month. Yeah. And then you have a two month, a three month, and then you skip to six months.

00:29:08:50 – 00:29:16:45
Agent Palmer
And in between for months three and four, it doesn’t stop aunts, uncles and family from seeing how much he weighs.

00:29:16:45 – 00:29:19:36
Stefanie Stershic
How much does he wait? How tall is he now?

00:29:19:41 – 00:29:22:28
Agent Palmer
So. Well, we couldn’t we did. We chose not.

00:29:22:28 – 00:29:30:48
Stefanie Stershic
To do early on. He he was changing weights much more rapidly. He was gaining weight rapidly. So it was kind of like, oh, we we’d want to know what it.

00:29:30:48 – 00:29:34:53
Agent Palmer
Is as we don’t do length. We still were keeping track of.

00:29:34:53 – 00:29:35:14
Stefanie Stershic
Wait.

00:29:35:14 – 00:29:51:31
Agent Palmer
Wait. Yeah. And so that was an easy way. And to do it for us because we were look, I think both of us and we didn’t talk about this as much. But you’re, you lost weight during your pregnancy because because of the Gerry, the, the.

00:29:51:36 – 00:29:54:41
Stefanie Stershic
I mean, it was also technically a Gerry, but it was.

00:29:54:41 – 00:29:55:06
Agent Palmer
Because of.

00:29:55:06 – 00:29:56:11
Stefanie Stershic
The gestational.

00:29:56:17 – 00:30:02:11
Agent Palmer
Gestational day. Two GS, I know. All right. So you ended up losing weight?

00:30:02:11 – 00:30:10:13
Stefanie Stershic
Yes. And I didn’t put on his as much. I mean, I was still I was still, you know, a good weight. Yeah. But, you know, being you didn’t.

00:30:10:22 – 00:30:12:26
Agent Palmer
Seem it wasn’t excessive like it could.

00:30:12:26 – 00:30:13:20
Stefanie Stershic
Have. No. And I.

00:30:13:20 – 00:30:13:56
Agent Palmer
Probably.

00:30:13:59 – 00:30:21:27
Stefanie Stershic
Would have, would have gained more. But yeah, because I was, I was doing a lot of walking. We had a very careful diet because I had to and.

00:30:21:27 – 00:30:45:22
Agent Palmer
Then before that, which I kind of held on to, was when we were trying, especially in the winter months when I’m less active, I was forcing myself to go for walks. Yeah. To stay in shape, because when you’re trying, they tell you to just stay in better shape. All right. So I held on to that until the first three months.

00:30:45:22 – 00:30:51:06
Agent Palmer
The first I mean, I, I look I mean, it’s he’s a spring kid.

00:30:51:11 – 00:30:53:41
Stefanie Stershic
So it’s still winter kid.

00:30:53:45 – 00:30:54:18
Agent Palmer
Whatever.

00:30:54:18 – 00:30:55:14
Stefanie Stershic
February still winter.

00:30:55:14 – 00:31:06:10
Agent Palmer
But it still was. I still had to wait for the thaw, but I started running before you went back to work just to try and get back into it. So we were still trying to keep ourselves.

00:31:06:10 – 00:31:09:42
Stefanie Stershic
Yeah, I was still still walking, still kind of trying to stay active.

00:31:09:44 – 00:31:27:32
Agent Palmer
Doing the, the, the best we can for that. And part of it, you know, then you’re you still. I mean, this is the thing, right? Like, I feel bad not being able to get out as we record this during the worst polar vortex, the longest polar vortex? Yeah. Ignoring the snow. It’s just too cold.

00:31:27:32 – 00:31:34:35
Stefanie Stershic
Remember? I don’t think we’ve ever had snow on the ground. At least this much snow on the ground for this long since I’ve moved.

00:31:34:35 – 00:31:39:17
Agent Palmer
Not since you’ve been here, but it. It means that I’m not kind of. You can’t.

00:31:39:17 – 00:31:40:20
Stefanie Stershic
Really get out because can’t really.

00:31:40:20 – 00:31:40:38
Agent Palmer
Get out.

00:31:40:38 – 00:31:46:43
Stefanie Stershic
So sidewalks are clear, but it’s not that great and it’s really cold and just. Yeah, you don’t want to go outside.

00:31:46:52 – 00:31:53:42
Agent Palmer
The, the motivation for taking care of yourself is just to be in better shape for, to be in better shape as a parent.

00:31:53:44 – 00:31:54:45
Stefanie Stershic
Well, yeah. That too. Yeah.

00:31:54:45 – 00:31:56:22
Agent Palmer
I mean, that’s really where it plays out.

00:31:56:23 – 00:31:59:11
Stefanie Stershic
You do want to be healthier because we want to be around.

00:31:59:11 – 00:32:06:36
Agent Palmer
For I mean, we wanted to be healthy before now. It’s just like, well, yeah, I did, slightly different motivation. I didn’t I didn’t have a name. It’s like.

00:32:06:40 – 00:32:15:30
Stefanie Stershic
But it’s nice to to know that it’s like, I weigh less now than I did before we got pregnant.

00:32:15:35 – 00:32:36:44
Agent Palmer
Yeah. I mean, that’s that’s, you know, that you did a lot. Yeah. To get there. And it’s one of the few things that’s actually changed is we. Yeah. Your diet for gestational diabetes changed the way we eat permanently. We pay a lot more attention to sodium than we use sodium.

00:32:36:44 – 00:32:39:08
Stefanie Stershic
We pay a lot more sugar, carbs and sugar.

00:32:39:08 – 00:32:44:26
Agent Palmer
Yeah, and we’re not reading every label. There are things we do. But on a whole, we.

00:32:44:26 – 00:32:53:48
Stefanie Stershic
Used to eat a lot of like those, those like chicken patties and. Oh, yeah, we don’t do that anymore because those are actually really.

00:32:53:53 – 00:33:00:16
Agent Palmer
We we well, we switched to actual chicken burgers because they’re not breaded. It’s not full of.

00:33:00:17 – 00:33:18:06
Stefanie Stershic
Especially preservatives a little bit how like that type of thing was. So bad for like my blood sugar when I was on, having to do the diet for the just this gestational diabetes because you don’t think that it’s just just like a thin, thinly breaded patty.

00:33:18:11 – 00:33:20:44
Agent Palmer
But how bad can it be? But you’d be better off.

00:33:20:44 – 00:33:24:11
Stefanie Stershic
But then you had the bun, and then, God forbid, you put any ketchup on it.

00:33:24:11 – 00:33:26:33
Agent Palmer
Yeah. Good. No. Yeah. No, that.

00:33:26:38 – 00:33:35:36
Stefanie Stershic
I, I mean, and I think we talked about this like, I, I remember looking up online of like, what a Burger King.

00:33:35:41 – 00:33:38:09
Agent Palmer
Yeah. We talked about this like cheeseburger.

00:33:38:14 – 00:33:39:01
Stefanie Stershic
A kids.

00:33:39:06 – 00:33:40:56
Agent Palmer
A lot worse than it.

00:33:41:01 – 00:33:42:55
Stefanie Stershic
Should have. And I was like wow. Okay.

00:33:43:05 – 00:33:51:47
Agent Palmer
So no burgers ones, you know. And we don’t do we used to we used to take out once a week. You wait till now we we’re at about once a month and once.

00:33:51:47 – 00:33:52:19
Stefanie Stershic
Twice a month.

00:33:52:21 – 00:33:55:21
Agent Palmer
It’s mainly it honestly usually.

00:33:55:21 – 00:34:00:07
Stefanie Stershic
Once a month. Yeah. It’s mainly cut out fast food quite a lot. We’ve cut out take out quite a lot.

00:34:00:12 – 00:34:17:15
Agent Palmer
It’s and it’s mainly health. It’s not money, it’s mainly health. And it’s I look I know that the restaurants, especially when you ignore fast food, the restaurants have healthy options. But if I’m going to be lazy and I’m going to order takeout, I am not going to order something good for me.

00:34:17:15 – 00:34:29:29
Stefanie Stershic
Yeah, yeah, I know part of that has been becoming parents because it’s it’s harder to just go out to a restaurant now because we, we don’t want to be we.

00:34:29:29 – 00:34:30:38
Agent Palmer
Don’t want to be those parents, the.

00:34:30:43 – 00:34:54:33
Stefanie Stershic
Parents who just take a baby, even though we think he probably would do fine. And we’re going to to do that at some point. But it’s kind of all those things where, okay, we’re not going out to restaurants unless we get a babysitter. So it’s kind of been a lot more home cooking. And then now we’ve started getting more healthier ingredients and things, and we’re doing things at home where.

00:34:54:38 – 00:35:08:15
Stefanie Stershic
And I think that’s all because of the fact it’s like, well, let’s do stuff because we have the baby and we should just we’re going to we’re going to be at home. And I think that’s that’s kind of been part of it is it’s me becoming parents has changed the way we eat as well.

00:35:08:19 – 00:35:17:28
Agent Palmer
A little bit. And you also want to you want that, you know, it’s every parent knows this. They’re always watching.

00:35:17:33 – 00:35:17:55
Stefanie Stershic
Them.

00:35:17:55 – 00:35:53:13
Agent Palmer
And so you want to eat, you know, reasonably well, you know that you don’t know what they’re going to remember. So I yeah. As a so I recently discovered a podcast with, since named Giles Brandish. I think anyway, he’s a, he’s a, he’s a British TV legend. Basically. He’s done everything over there. Yeah. And he’s got an, video interview thing where he sits down with comedians who we know from British panel shows and watching the mean.

00:35:53:19 – 00:35:57:42
Stefanie Stershic
I think it’s a podcast with video because they talk into microphones like you can see on the microphone.

00:35:57:46 – 00:36:01:02
Agent Palmer
It might be. It might be available. I think it’s called Rosebud, if.

00:36:01:02 – 00:36:03:55
Stefanie Stershic
I remember correctly. I think it is technically a podcast though, just.

00:36:03:55 – 00:36:15:42
Agent Palmer
But one of his first questions to everybody is what’s your first memory? And it oh wow. Now what? Now what? It’s usually around. It averages around two.

00:36:15:56 – 00:36:17:41
Stefanie Stershic
2 or 3. Yeah.

00:36:17:46 – 00:36:27:29
Agent Palmer
And I know a few of the more like cerebral comedians have been like, I don’t know, because like, I know this thing that happened when I was like.

00:36:27:34 – 00:36:28:32
Stefanie Stershic
Yeah.

00:36:28:37 – 00:36:45:30
Agent Palmer
16 months old, but I don’t know if it’s because I, I saw there was a picture of the thing, and somebody told me the story, and I remember it that way, or if I actually remember it myself. But the point is, we’re in this. We’re in the window. We have a one year old at any point now.

00:36:45:35 – 00:36:46:11
Stefanie Stershic
He could be.

00:36:46:23 – 00:36:48:38
Agent Palmer
Something we do or that happens to.

00:36:48:38 – 00:36:50:33
Stefanie Stershic
Him. Or they could. He does, or they could turn.

00:36:50:40 – 00:37:03:05
Agent Palmer
To his first memory. We have no idea what that going to be. Yeah. And whether he remembers it until he’s five, till he’s ten or until he’s 50, we don’t know. We don’t know how memories work. We just don’t.

00:37:03:05 – 00:37:21:25
Stefanie Stershic
With a lot. I know that as far as I’m concerned, my earliest memories I knew, like, I could sense them and and like, see it in my mind, like, clear, like like it was a movie when I was a lot younger, especially growing up like high school. And people would tell me like, ask like, what’s your earliest memory?

00:37:21:25 – 00:37:23:13
Stefanie Stershic
Like, I could see it. I can visualize.

00:37:23:17 – 00:37:26:06
Agent Palmer
The age, HB give or take.

00:37:26:11 – 00:37:35:02
Stefanie Stershic
Like between ten to like 18. I like, like I think the first. No. Like what do you mean like develop or.

00:37:35:06 – 00:37:40:28
Agent Palmer
Like what your first memory that you’re doing. How old are you in that memory?

00:37:40:32 – 00:37:41:23
Stefanie Stershic
Like three.

00:37:41:28 – 00:37:44:39
Agent Palmer
Okay. Okay. So that’s and that’s usually it. But but I’m just.

00:37:44:39 – 00:38:04:00
Stefanie Stershic
Saying I’m what I’m saying though is, is I could remember it better when I was younger. Now, that same memory that I know is my earliest memory, I can barely visualize it. And it’s only because I’ve talked about it. So much as being one of my first memories, that I remember it being a memory. At this point, it’s like it’s I’m.

00:38:04:00 – 00:38:24:54
Agent Palmer
Very far off for nothing. And we didn’t talk about this yet, but the memories that we’ve got from this first year, are probably more unique. So there’s always the whole thing about memory. Yeah. If it’s unique, you’ll remember it more. We’ve had more unique memories in the last year.

00:38:24:59 – 00:38:25:34
Stefanie Stershic
Yeah.

00:38:25:39 – 00:38:53:42
Agent Palmer
Plus even even the, the, you know, the couple months leading up to birth. So let’s say a year and a half in the last year and a half, we’ve had more thing, unique things that will never happen again or won’t happen that way ever again than we had in the previous. In our entire relationship. You could put up everything that happened from like, okay, you’re pregnant, which was the second time we heard that.

00:38:53:47 – 00:39:02:56
Agent Palmer
And then getting into the, second trimester for the first time. Yeah, getting into the third trimester, the gestational diabetes.

00:39:02:58 – 00:39:04:46
Stefanie Stershic
All the additional tests I.

00:39:04:51 – 00:39:05:02
Agent Palmer
I.

00:39:05:11 – 00:39:09:15
Stefanie Stershic
Necessarily additional tests, but the tests, I never got to be there. You didn’t get that far.

00:39:09:21 – 00:39:24:47
Agent Palmer
I still remember your last Friendsgiving before the diagnosis. Yeah. And I still remember a very sad Christmas meal and a very sad New Year’s meal. And even for your birthday, it was like, what can we eat? But like, I remember that stuff.

00:39:24:47 – 00:39:29:26
Stefanie Stershic
I remember I don’t even think I had cake on my birthday, which we normally do. You did.

00:39:29:31 – 00:39:31:54
Agent Palmer
You did? Absolutely. Yeah, just a little bit.

00:39:31:59 – 00:39:34:26
Stefanie Stershic
Yeah, yeah. Just for the tiniest amount of cake and then.

00:39:34:33 – 00:39:36:09
Agent Palmer
No, I bought a slice.

00:39:36:14 – 00:39:37:02
Stefanie Stershic
Oh that’s right.

00:39:37:02 – 00:39:41:39
Agent Palmer
And we split it. Yeah. Because it was like, well I’m gonna eat most of this, but you can have a by a little bit.

00:39:41:39 – 00:39:42:19
Stefanie Stershic
Yeah.

00:39:42:24 – 00:39:43:21
Agent Palmer
And then it was and.

00:39:43:21 – 00:39:47:21
Stefanie Stershic
Then I think it was also like, I think it probably did spike my blood sugar a little bit, but thought it was.

00:39:47:21 – 00:39:49:58
Agent Palmer
Like, fine, you know. But you know why. It’s how like exactly.

00:39:50:11 – 00:39:50:53
Stefanie Stershic
Yeah. It wasn’t like.

00:39:50:53 – 00:40:08:15
Agent Palmer
Yeah. And then I remember obviously the weeks leading up and talking to people and being like, I’m just, you know, it’s one of those things where I’m just waiting for it to happen, like let’s when’s it going to happen? One’s going to happen. Yeah. And then and then the due date came and went and it’s time for induction.

00:40:08:19 – 00:40:15:38
Agent Palmer
And then I remember basically jumping off a cliff with you because the from that first. Yeah. From, from from the moment.

00:40:15:45 – 00:40:25:27
Stefanie Stershic
Because when we got married it wasn’t jumping off a cliff because I know some people say that they get married and like, you want to jump off a cliff with me, but it wasn’t like that for us because getting married wasn’t a big.

00:40:25:32 – 00:40:28:36
Agent Palmer
It didn’t change. Yeah, we were always it was.

00:40:28:40 – 00:40:31:29
Stefanie Stershic
On paper that it changed, but becoming parents.

00:40:31:29 – 00:40:32:25
Agent Palmer
Like that was the.

00:40:32:25 – 00:40:37:29
Stefanie Stershic
Birth. And that that was completely different because it was like, now we have this, this human to take care of.

00:40:37:33 – 00:41:05:29
Agent Palmer
But all that stuff leading up to bringing a baby home and then all of the firsts and the unique things in the I mean, I still and look, we’re a year away. We’re a year removed from it. Yep. I still remember Friday afternoon coming home from the hospital and being like, all right, well, this was my house. Now it feels very different.

00:41:05:29 – 00:41:09:24
Agent Palmer
And oh, there’s another occupant. Yeah. And that I saw a.

00:41:09:37 – 00:41:16:43
Stefanie Stershic
Lot of different, different noises are happening. We we all we also we like we didn’t know how to function.

00:41:16:43 – 00:41:17:58
Agent Palmer
Like, I didn’t know what to do.

00:41:18:00 – 00:41:24:57
Stefanie Stershic
We were. So it’s so good that we we had your parents around because they they came and brought us, like, food. They’re like, we’re here. Don’t worry.

00:41:24:57 – 00:41:31:29
Agent Palmer
Yeah, but but and so from then on again, it’s all these things in that, in that, you know, those 18 months.

00:41:31:31 – 00:41:34:17
Stefanie Stershic
We’ve definitely built more core memories.

00:41:34:20 – 00:41:35:51
Agent Palmer
Oh yeah. That’s what is.

00:41:35:56 – 00:41:37:31
Stefanie Stershic
More memories during this.

00:41:37:42 – 00:41:39:50
Agent Palmer
Than we did in our entire relationship before.

00:41:39:52 – 00:41:41:53
Stefanie Stershic
Yeah. Because what for that. It was like we didn’t.

00:41:41:53 – 00:41:45:31
Agent Palmer
Have good memories. We just nothing in this vast.

00:41:45:31 – 00:41:52:46
Stefanie Stershic
Now, like, I’m sure before this we would have been like, oh yeah, that was a big memory. Like, they are going out for our anniversary or.

00:41:52:50 – 00:42:07:07
Agent Palmer
I just named for you. What, like ten different things? I would, I would, I think beforehand it would have been I can name what they would have. The core memories would have been. Right. It would have been, I still remember the night I asked you out.

00:42:07:15 – 00:42:08:47
Stefanie Stershic
Yeah.

00:42:08:52 – 00:42:10:25
Agent Palmer
Meeting in person.

00:42:10:27 – 00:42:10:46
Stefanie Stershic
Yep.

00:42:10:58 – 00:42:20:10
Agent Palmer
And specifically, I think a third from there would be the first. The real date day date we had in Grand Rapids.

00:42:20:24 – 00:42:24:34
Stefanie Stershic
Yeah, yeah, the first actual, the first time I visited you was four.

00:42:24:38 – 00:42:26:25
Agent Palmer
Then five comes when.

00:42:26:30 – 00:42:28:48
Stefanie Stershic
We already couldn’t remember when that happened.

00:42:28:53 – 00:42:33:18
Agent Palmer
Well, that was a while. I remember. Well, when your mother came, we couldn’t remember. Yeah.

00:42:33:23 – 00:42:36:18
Stefanie Stershic
We couldn’t in the same year or like I.

00:42:36:23 – 00:42:37:34
Agent Palmer
Yeah, but that’s five.

00:42:37:34 – 00:42:38:00
Stefanie Stershic
I think it.

00:42:38:14 – 00:42:55:53
Agent Palmer
Six is when you picked a date to move in. Yeah. Seven is when you move moved in and then there’s probably eight and nine and ten are probably all related to a few very specific things.

00:42:55:53 – 00:42:59:42
Stefanie Stershic
Like announcing to your entire family that we were going to get married.

00:42:59:43 – 00:43:02:08
Agent Palmer
Oh, I wasn’t even getting there yet. I was thinking,

00:43:02:13 – 00:43:05:12
Stefanie Stershic
Well, that’s that’s the next like thing. I think that’s the next because, no.

00:43:05:12 – 00:43:08:04
Agent Palmer
There’s no because I, I had a real job.

00:43:08:09 – 00:43:08:53
Stefanie Stershic
Until.

00:43:08:54 – 00:43:14:08
Agent Palmer
So my dad retired and you went to the retirement party and met so many people, right. Like, and but there.

00:43:14:08 – 00:43:15:11
Stefanie Stershic
Was a lot of people that there was a.

00:43:15:11 – 00:43:25:28
Agent Palmer
Few of those pre-COVID things. And then Covid happens. Right. And then after Covid, we went on a trip. Yeah. And then we started going to Baltimore for baseball games.

00:43:25:28 – 00:43:28:23
Stefanie Stershic
Versus baseball game that, that that’s a big thing.

00:43:28:28 – 00:43:36:08
Agent Palmer
And so and then there was again, pre-COVID, you went to your first college basketball game. I went to my we went to a doubleheader.

00:43:36:09 – 00:43:42:46
Stefanie Stershic
I well, and that was my, my first baseball game was actually with the Iron Pigs here. And then my.

00:43:42:46 – 00:43:43:59
Agent Palmer
First major league major.

00:43:43:59 – 00:43:44:50
Stefanie Stershic
League was, was.

00:43:44:50 – 00:44:05:35
Agent Palmer
So all of that stuff is in like a five, six, seven year period. And then Covid happens obviously in a few things. But again, that’s you know, a long time. And then all of a sudden from the moment you were pregnant the first time, we just named way more core memories in that short period of time.

00:44:05:39 – 00:44:06:08
Stefanie Stershic
Yeah.

00:44:06:08 – 00:44:14:50
Agent Palmer
And I don’t look, it’s not I’m not diminishing anything on either side of the before and after child, but it is very much a weird thing.

00:44:14:50 – 00:44:15:28
Stefanie Stershic
When I was.

00:44:15:33 – 00:44:16:34
Agent Palmer
About the last year.

00:44:16:34 – 00:44:19:54
Stefanie Stershic
And the way we look at the things too, it’s. Yeah.

00:44:19:59 – 00:44:42:04
Agent Palmer
Especially because, the other than the core memories again, what were we doing three years ago on a random whatever night, like pick one, like, pick it a work day, I don’t remember, or a weekend I don’t like. I genuinely just cannot remember what that was like. Now it’s gone. And I don’t know if that’s evolution said it.

00:44:42:10 – 00:44:45:02
Agent Palmer
You don’t have to worry about what it was like, cause never going to be like that.

00:44:45:17 – 00:44:53:19
Stefanie Stershic
Exactly. It was like that. That’s what mundane was. And now you have a child. Nothing is ever mundane.

00:44:53:24 – 00:45:07:45
Agent Palmer
It’s very different, though. Yeah. Now, were you were you quite ready for just how different things were going to be? We didn’t know quite what different. We didn’t know what different looked like. Obviously no new parent is really prepared.

00:45:07:45 – 00:45:23:26
Stefanie Stershic
I think you’re prepared that there are going to be differences. And then I think it’s just how you kind of deal with them. So it’s like I, I think so like I think like like we’ve been saying like I think we both fell into the role of parent quite quickly and quite easily. Everything kind of became almost second nature.

00:45:23:26 – 00:45:28:12
Stefanie Stershic
Like, I mean, I already had experience changing diapers. You you did.

00:45:28:12 – 00:45:29:27
Agent Palmer
But yeah, it’s a long time.

00:45:29:40 – 00:45:31:01
Stefanie Stershic
Yeah, I was a little bit more recent.

00:45:31:01 – 00:45:32:22
Agent Palmer
But yeah, but the thing is.

00:45:32:22 – 00:45:37:52
Stefanie Stershic
You got real and you got back into it real quick. Like changing a diaper became just second nature.

00:45:37:52 – 00:45:47:01
Agent Palmer
Like it helped. I think that that first three months of sleep deprivation really helps, because when you can change a diaper with no sleep and you’re barely able.

00:45:47:01 – 00:45:50:51
Stefanie Stershic
To, you realize you’re just doing the motions and you can do it with little sleep or not.

00:45:50:56 – 00:45:52:37
Agent Palmer
So the rest of it just becomes like all right.

00:45:52:48 – 00:45:54:38
Stefanie Stershic
Now I can do it with more sleep. So it’s like, fine.

00:45:54:45 – 00:46:04:02
Agent Palmer
Yeah, yeah, yeah. So what do you expect? And I, I’m gonna I’m going to put you on the spot. Aside from more change.

00:46:04:02 – 00:46:05:09
Stefanie Stershic
Yeah.

00:46:05:14 – 00:46:15:59
Agent Palmer
What do you expect from the next year? Like before we, before you come back and I say, hey, we have a two year old. Yeah. If we do that,

00:46:16:03 – 00:46:17:55
Stefanie Stershic
I mean, I don’t think we necessarily need to.

00:46:17:57 – 00:46:24:32
Agent Palmer
Maybe we will. Maybe. Well, I’m just saying it depends, but let’s assume that that is going to be a thing.

00:46:24:32 – 00:46:24:58
Stefanie Stershic
Yeah.

00:46:25:03 – 00:46:32:41
Agent Palmer
What what do you think’s going to change the most from. Hey, we have a one year old in between then to here we have a two year old. Like what I.

00:46:32:41 – 00:46:47:07
Stefanie Stershic
Think going to really be that like, oh, we can communicate now. That’s going to be I think like the biggest deal because right now it’s like we we he has like his, his his tells like he has his his signs. Like we know when he’s getting tired. We know when he’s hungry.

00:46:47:07 – 00:46:47:48
Agent Palmer
He can read.

00:46:47:48 – 00:46:56:09
Stefanie Stershic
Him, we can read him. But I think that getting to the point where he can start talking and communicating, that’s I.

00:46:56:09 – 00:46:57:03
Agent Palmer
Talking about that on.

00:46:57:03 – 00:46:57:46
Stefanie Stershic
Completely.

00:46:57:48 – 00:47:02:11
Agent Palmer
Different football on the previous episode. Like, I’m really excited for that.

00:47:02:11 – 00:47:10:01
Stefanie Stershic
Oh yeah, I’m really excited. Although I think the first time he tells me no, like they say, I’m gonna be crushed. So I’ll be like, I don’t know what to do.

00:47:10:05 – 00:47:12:17
Agent Palmer
Yeah, autonomy is really, really.

00:47:12:17 – 00:47:12:56
Stefanie Stershic
Yeah, it’s.

00:47:13:09 – 00:47:14:26
Agent Palmer
A sucker punch I.

00:47:14:26 – 00:47:20:01
Stefanie Stershic
Got. I can’t wait for that little personality to develop. But at the same time, I’m like, oh God.

00:47:20:06 – 00:47:23:53
Agent Palmer
Well, it’s all well. So this is the this is, this is.

00:47:23:53 – 00:47:26:20
Stefanie Stershic
I think that’s really going to be what, like I think this is the for me as.

00:47:26:20 – 00:47:35:29
Agent Palmer
Well. I was gonna say this. Well, this is the conundrum we find ourselves in. Okay. Because you and I were very different children.

00:47:35:33 – 00:47:36:01
Stefanie Stershic
We we.

00:47:36:01 – 00:47:36:44
Agent Palmer
Were very.

00:47:36:44 – 00:47:41:35
Stefanie Stershic
Different children. I heard stories, and so. And you’ve heard stories about me. So this.

00:47:41:35 – 00:47:50:04
Agent Palmer
Is where. And I mean that in every sense of the word. Yes. And they always say, May you have the child. You were.

00:47:50:15 – 00:47:51:31
Stefanie Stershic

00:47:51:36 – 00:48:07:07
Agent Palmer
And so here we sit in this conundrum, because if we have the child that you were, it’s easy street baby. Yeah, it’s easy street. If we have the child that I was, it’s anything but easy.

00:48:07:19 – 00:48:08:20
Stefanie Stershic
My God.

00:48:08:25 – 00:48:13:40
Agent Palmer
So this is the thing, right? Is it going to be like me? Light.

00:48:13:45 – 00:48:15:35
Stefanie Stershic
Let’s hope.

00:48:15:40 – 00:48:15:58
Agent Palmer
You know.

00:48:16:07 – 00:48:21:40
Stefanie Stershic
But it doesn’t have to be a completely, you know, angel child like. Like you were like I.

00:48:21:40 – 00:48:27:12
Agent Palmer
And that’s the thing I’ve heard. That’s the those are the stories. I’ve heard that you were an angel child.

00:48:27:16 – 00:48:29:21
Stefanie Stershic
Yeah, I.

00:48:29:25 – 00:48:32:40
Agent Palmer
I wasn’t a terror, but I was not an angel.

00:48:32:40 – 00:48:44:03
Stefanie Stershic
No, no, you got into a lot of trouble at school. I got into trouble school once, and it, like, scarred me for life. And I was like, I’m never getting in trouble like that.

00:48:44:08 – 00:48:48:48
Agent Palmer
Yeah, my trouble at school went from, like, elementary school, which was to, like, I.

00:48:48:53 – 00:49:03:56
Stefanie Stershic
Got grounded once in my life and was like, nope. And and yeah, no, I felt so guilty and terrible and it like, it wasn’t even like that bad. But it was like it like I said, it stopped me for life. If I have.

00:49:03:57 – 00:49:08:18
Agent Palmer
Passed on my immunity to guilt, you are in trouble.

00:49:08:22 – 00:49:08:49
Stefanie Stershic
You know.

00:49:08:54 – 00:49:19:30
Agent Palmer
I don’t know if I’m in as much trouble as you may be. Because I was never going to try and play a guilt card where whereas I feel like.

00:49:19:30 – 00:49:20:19
Stefanie Stershic
I probably.

00:49:20:19 – 00:49:21:49
Agent Palmer
Would probably would try.

00:49:21:50 – 00:49:25:15
Stefanie Stershic
I mean, I, I have to at least try to see.

00:49:25:24 – 00:49:28:30
Agent Palmer
I feel that you have to I have to try.

00:49:28:35 – 00:49:34:53
Stefanie Stershic
Yeah. Yeah, I think that’s a thing. I see what my mom powers will be and test them all out, see which ones work. Which.

00:49:34:55 – 00:49:46:27
Agent Palmer
Do you know what mom powers you have now? Like, would you say you? I mean, look, mom powers. Dad powers, they’re very different. Yeah, and they probably change as as as right now.

00:49:46:27 – 00:49:50:02
Stefanie Stershic
I think our our parent powers are probably fairly similar, because.

00:49:50:17 – 00:49:52:32
Agent Palmer
What do you think they are right now?

00:49:52:32 – 00:50:13:24
Stefanie Stershic
Like we can we can both easily make him smile. Like we can make him smile. We can make him laugh. We we both, like, sing to him or least play music to him. Like, I’ll, I’ll sing to him. You’ll play instruments and things and like that will calm him down, like immediately. If you if if I sing to him or you play, you know, a guitar.

00:50:13:29 – 00:50:27:57
Stefanie Stershic
So I think those are kind of like our, our powers currently. Yeah, I but I don’t know what they’ll become because I think we’ll definitely need some additional parent powers. I think you need.

00:50:27:57 – 00:50:31:24
Agent Palmer
More than sing and guitar. Like, I think you’re going to need a little bit more.

00:50:31:24 – 00:50:35:36
Stefanie Stershic
Than a little help, though, that we’ve that we’ve instilled this love of music.

00:50:35:36 – 00:50:46:13
Agent Palmer
In him. Well, let’s hope let’s hope so. Are we going to. So you’re telling me we will develop more parent powers? Yes.

00:50:46:18 – 00:50:46:58
Stefanie Stershic
Yeah.

00:50:47:03 – 00:50:48:04
Agent Palmer
Because I it.

00:50:48:09 – 00:51:04:53
Stefanie Stershic
It wasn’t the if all of the things that, our parents have told us that you do like you hear your mom, your mom likes to joke that, as a mom, I’ll. I’ll grow eyes in the back of my head because it’s that. That’s a mom power hearing.

00:51:04:58 – 00:51:06:24
Agent Palmer
You’ll you’ll hear whatever.

00:51:06:24 – 00:51:07:13
Stefanie Stershic
Different hearing.

00:51:07:15 – 00:51:08:18
Agent Palmer
Whatever, whatever.

00:51:08:19 – 00:51:08:50
Stefanie Stershic
He muttered.

00:51:08:50 – 00:51:13:14
Agent Palmer
Under breath. You will hear clear, Isabel. Yeah. In theory.

00:51:13:14 – 00:51:13:52
Stefanie Stershic
So there, there are.

00:51:13:53 – 00:51:18:36
Agent Palmer
There I don’t I still don’t believe she. My mother heard everything there.

00:51:18:38 – 00:51:23:51
Stefanie Stershic
There are those things that you hear that are the things that mom only moms can do and the things the dads can do.

00:51:23:51 – 00:51:50:55
Agent Palmer
So here’s interesting to see. Here’s what we use. The key for me as far as parent superpower, On this show post child, I was a parent. I started and did the first questionnaire, and in the fourth episode of that with Jason Zapata, we talked about patients.

00:51:50:59 – 00:51:52:58
Stefanie Stershic

00:51:53:02 – 00:52:20:16
Agent Palmer
And we talked a lot about it. And if you want to hear our actual thoughts go back to the episode. I’m not going to do it now. But what I will say is I, I spoke a little bit about becoming a little more patient in, in my older age, and I maybe would have been, but like having done it for a year, I definitely have a lot more patients now than I did before.

00:52:20:17 – 00:52:36:29
Stefanie Stershic
Yeah, I always thought of myself as a patient person, but I think until you’re truly tested, by by all tiny human that that doesn’t, we can’t do any like, they don’t know any better because it’s just the way that they they are like the the sky and the the crying and the screaming and everything like that really tests your patience.

00:52:36:31 – 00:52:39:55
Stefanie Stershic
You’re like, okay. Yeah. No, I’m, I am definitely a patient person. If I.

00:52:39:55 – 00:52:50:04
Agent Palmer
Can make it, then I think that if I, if I truly was so bad with patients that it was just starting to get better as I crested.

00:52:50:04 – 00:52:51:51
Stefanie Stershic
40.

00:52:51:56 – 00:52:57:45
Agent Palmer
I don’t think I would have handled the last year very well. No, I think I have no. I think at least I raised a.

00:52:57:50 – 00:52:59:09
Stefanie Stershic
Patient to begin with. I was just.

00:52:59:09 – 00:53:13:57
Agent Palmer
At least when it comes to being a parent, maybe not everything, maybe not every aspect of my life. But when it comes to being a dad, I. I think patience is my superpower, at least right now. I don’t know that that will last.

00:53:13:57 – 00:53:21:53
Stefanie Stershic
I don’t know if it’s necessarily a superpower or if if it was a power. Well, because really we’re saying it’s a power we already had. It just became enhanced.

00:53:21:58 – 00:53:25:05
Agent Palmer
Well, for me, it became very.

00:53:25:10 – 00:53:26:33
Stefanie Stershic
Enhanced.

00:53:26:38 – 00:53:27:41
Agent Palmer
For me, became very.

00:53:27:41 – 00:53:30:00
Stefanie Stershic
You just push the button. More patients.

00:53:30:05 – 00:53:35:47
Agent Palmer
Zoom in, zoom zoom zoom zoom in, increase further increase. Let’s go, let’s go.

00:53:35:52 – 00:53:38:38
Stefanie Stershic
Dial it up.

00:53:38:43 – 00:53:45:54
Agent Palmer
So, I mean, I remember you asked if we would do it again. At one point I said no because that’s what we were always saying.

00:53:45:54 – 00:53:49:23
Stefanie Stershic
Oh yeah I don’t remember. Yeah I asked yeah.

00:53:49:23 – 00:53:57:23
Agent Palmer
That was the final question on one of them on one of your previous appearances. And we still occasionally.

00:53:57:23 – 00:54:00:19
Stefanie Stershic
Well, I think it was more so because other people were asking, is we.

00:54:00:19 – 00:54:00:44
Agent Palmer
Still.

00:54:00:44 – 00:54:19:24
Stefanie Stershic
Because I think that that question, I immediately followed it up with, like, I know we said it’s not going to happen. And yeah, we still hear it. I hear it from coworkers all the time. They’re they’re like, oh, well, if he’s so perfect, then, you know, why don’t you go for another one? And it’s like, no, that’s what you shouldn’t do because you already have a good child.

00:54:19:28 – 00:54:25:14
Stefanie Stershic
Why ruin it not getting. But, but it’s true because that’s usually what people.

00:54:25:14 – 00:54:25:46
Agent Palmer
We still.

00:54:25:46 – 00:54:30:56
Stefanie Stershic
Get the question. It’s like if it’s kind of difficult, they usually try for a second one to see if it gets better.

00:54:31:01 – 00:54:35:02
Agent Palmer
I but I still think it’s ridiculous. We still get the question.

00:54:35:02 – 00:54:37:49
Stefanie Stershic
Yeah, but it goes back to the firm about.

00:54:37:49 – 00:55:00:07
Agent Palmer
It goes back to that email like we’re a year in and still are you getting sleep like yeah. And these were and look there were people we were we reached out like sleep was the number one question like period. And it’s it’s it’s funny to me that it’s still a question. Yeah. I wonder when that stops because I know according to my mother, my mother.

00:55:00:12 – 00:55:02:20
Stefanie Stershic
Everyone’s like, most important thing is asleep.

00:55:02:25 – 00:55:15:04
Agent Palmer
I don’t know, but I will tell you that my mother will say that when, when, when I when we come on the podcast and they go, hey, we got a 16 year old, my mother will be like, well, that’s when that’s when the sleep stops again. But for different reasons.

00:55:15:04 – 00:55:31:26
Stefanie Stershic
Yeah, yeah, yeah. She’s told me that she’s like, so you’re getting sleep now but just, just wait with once they become teenagers and you start losing sleep all over and for different reasons. But yeah.

00:55:31:31 – 00:55:44:25
Stefanie Stershic
And I was going to say something and I don’t know what it was Lori is talking about.

00:55:44:30 – 00:56:03:57
Agent Palmer
So here’s the deal. I’ll level with all of you. This was our second recording for the episode. The first one was fine, but Steph spent too much time talking about our child. We love and adore our child, but this episode was about being parents for a year. It was about us. And this second attempt accomplished that much better.

00:56:04:02 – 00:56:25:02
Agent Palmer
It’s easy to lose yourself in parenting. You become a parent and that’s all you are. But it’s not. You are still you. Being a parent means you do have your own thoughts, feelings, emotions, and stories that may be because of but are not solely about your child. It was important to me that we have a conversation about ourselves.

00:56:25:06 – 00:56:47:44
Agent Palmer
It isn’t the norm, but it should be. And again, we love our child, but we are still Steph and Jason, not just Mom and Dad. You don’t leave that behind just because you become a parent. You encompass both. Anyway, thank you for listening to The Polymer Files episode 170. And now for the official business. The Polymer Files releases every two weeks on Tuesdays.

00:56:47:48 – 00:57:03:51
Agent Palmer
If you’re still listening, I encourage you to join the discussion. You can find all related ways to contact us in the show. Notes. Stephanie Schick was a special guest executive producer for the episode. The music for this episode was provided by Hanno Hide. Her email and comments can be sent to this show at The Palmer Files at gmail.com.

00:57:03:51 – 00:57:18:45
Agent Palmer
And remember, you’re home for all things. Agent Palmer is Agent palmer.com.

00:57:18:50 – 00:57:26:42
Unknown

00:57:26:47 – 00:57:44:43
Unknown

00:57:44:48 – 00:57:53:21
Unknown

00:57:53:26 – 00:57:55:48
Agent Palmer
All right. Steph, do you have one final question for me?

00:57:55:53 – 00:58:01:59
Stefanie Stershic
I do. Is there a sport that you want him to be interested in? Like one more than any other?

00:58:02:04 – 00:58:03:04
Agent Palmer
Well.

00:58:03:08 – 00:58:05:31
Stefanie Stershic
Because you watch a lot of sports, I.

00:58:05:36 – 00:58:10:38
Agent Palmer
I wouldn’t say one more than any other. I mean, we do limit screen time.

00:58:10:38 – 00:58:13:36
Stefanie Stershic
Yeah, we do, but we do watch sports with him because sports.

00:58:13:36 – 00:58:14:50
Agent Palmer
Team sports is.

00:58:14:55 – 00:58:15:18
Stefanie Stershic
Different.

00:58:15:18 – 00:58:20:20
Agent Palmer
It’s different, you know, sports and podcasts and talking head videos. Right. Like that’s.

00:58:20:20 – 00:58:20:37
Stefanie Stershic
Panel.

00:58:20:37 – 00:58:46:33
Agent Palmer
Shows. Yeah. Panel shows. No, I not really, I know that you have an extensive list that has built up over the course of having a one year old of sports. He is not allowed to play. Yeah, he can watch. But as far as watching, I mean, I feel like, it will depend on we.

00:58:46:38 – 00:58:52:14
Stefanie Stershic
Does it depend on timing? Because that’s one of the things I was also thought of. There’s different sports, different parts of the year.

00:58:52:19 – 00:59:07:24
Agent Palmer
So it well yeah it part of its time part of its attention right now because of our limited screen access as much as possible. Menus are a lot more interesting than actual things.

00:59:07:25 – 00:59:09:21
Stefanie Stershic
Getting to the thing is far more interesting.

00:59:09:21 – 00:59:15:54
Agent Palmer
Like scrolling through YouTube to find something. Yeah, is very interesting. Once the thing’s on, I’m done with it. Yeah.

00:59:15:54 – 00:59:22:08
Stefanie Stershic
Then he’ll he’ll entertain himself, which is actually surprising going through you would be hooked on the screen and he’s not like he’ll look at it now like me.

00:59:22:21 – 00:59:34:15
Agent Palmer
Going through sling to find a game. Yeah. Again same thing. Oh it’s interesting. And then once the game’s on not so much. Yeah. So whenever that changes based on time of year.

00:59:34:17 – 00:59:35:29
Stefanie Stershic
Yeah.

00:59:35:34 – 00:59:41:16
Agent Palmer
But I think it also depends. I think it, I know what it will more than likely be.

00:59:41:21 – 00:59:42:37
Stefanie Stershic
What’s that?

00:59:42:42 – 00:59:47:28
Agent Palmer
It will probably be either baseball or football.

00:59:47:28 – 00:59:48:08
Stefanie Stershic

00:59:48:33 – 00:59:53:12
Agent Palmer
Based on the sheer volume from when it starts, you know, like, I will watch this.

00:59:53:13 – 00:59:57:50
Stefanie Stershic
Ball goes from like March until October.

00:59:58:03 – 00:59:59:16
Agent Palmer
March through November.

00:59:59:16 – 01:00:00:17
Stefanie Stershic
November. Yeah, even.

01:00:00:17 – 01:00:07:00
Agent Palmer
And then football will be basically late. Well, for us because we watched the CFL in this.

01:00:07:00 – 01:00:08:07
Stefanie Stershic
Yeah we watched CFL.

01:00:08:10 – 01:00:09:44
Agent Palmer
Football will be we also.

01:00:09:44 – 01:00:12:40
Stefanie Stershic
Watch football like as in soccer. Soccer.

01:00:12:42 – 01:00:15:04
Agent Palmer
Well soccer is basically year round for us.

01:00:15:06 – 01:00:15:27
Stefanie Stershic
It is.

01:00:15:27 – 01:00:20:37
Agent Palmer
So it could be soccer but the but it’s the frequency is not there like baseball and and American.

01:00:20:37 – 01:00:22:17
Stefanie Stershic
Football American Canadian football.

01:00:22:17 – 01:00:41:37
Agent Palmer
So I mean it probably one of those I mean auto racing. But I wonder I wonder to him if it’ll make a difference what shape the car is like if I’m watching Daytona or I’m watching F1 or Indy, like, I wonder if it makes a diff or the truck series on it. Yeah, I, I you do watch.

01:00:41:37 – 01:01:04:05
Agent Palmer
I wonder if it will make a difference or if it’s just something go fast, go vroom like and then all of a so that’s a possibility. I think maybe more importantly than anything else would be. Does his awareness really come into focus in July. Because then you’ve got a new problem.

01:01:04:09 – 01:01:05:30
Stefanie Stershic
What happens in July?

01:01:05:32 – 01:01:06:53
Agent Palmer
The tour de France happens.

01:01:06:53 – 01:01:08:23
Stefanie Stershic
Oh that’s right, which.

01:01:08:23 – 01:01:15:35
Agent Palmer
Is six hours. That he watched with me this year. Yeah. Of continuous coverage all morning long.

01:01:15:35 – 01:01:20:55
Stefanie Stershic
He loved it. He you would watch it on the laptop. You put the laptop on the on the living room table and.

01:01:20:55 – 01:01:22:21
Agent Palmer
He would sit he’d sit on my lap.

01:01:22:22 – 01:01:24:45
Stefanie Stershic
And he watched, you watched the the bicycle.

01:01:24:45 – 01:01:39:19
Agent Palmer
Show in that case, that’s that. Because I don’t watch everything. I watch both towards the women’s and the men’s. So maybe that. And then that’s what he. I mean, we already know he likes it, but again, that’s.

01:01:39:24 – 01:01:45:53
Stefanie Stershic
Just the different the random sports that you watch on occasion just because of of the you’ve stumbled across them.

01:01:45:58 – 01:01:51:44
Agent Palmer
Well, I started watching cricket before he was born, while I was waiting, while I couldn’t sleep because it was on.

01:01:51:50 – 01:01:52:40
Stefanie Stershic
Yeah.

01:01:52:44 – 01:01:57:25
Agent Palmer
I love Aussie rules football, which he. I watched. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:01:57:28 – 01:02:00:13
Stefanie Stershic
Because you’re hearing that for the middle of the night, I watch them too.

01:02:00:17 – 01:02:07:56
Agent Palmer
I do wonder if the tour de France is because like, especially when they’re showing the group. Yeah, it’s like 75 billion colors.

01:02:08:03 – 01:02:08:39
Stefanie Stershic
Yeah. No.

01:02:08:41 – 01:02:09:49
Agent Palmer
Oh moving a little bit a.

01:02:09:49 – 01:02:10:56
Stefanie Stershic
Lot of coverage.

01:02:11:01 – 01:02:30:59
Agent Palmer
So maybe like the start of the Daytona 500 or any NASCAR race, which is a lot more closely packed together and colorful than say, like F1 would be. Maybe that’s the case. I don’t know, it’ll be interesting. I think it’s even all all that aside, I still think it’ll probably be football or baseball.

01:02:31:01 – 01:02:31:22
Stefanie Stershic
Yeah, those.

01:02:31:22 – 01:02:40:31
Agent Palmer
Based on when he decides to take an interest in what happens after the menu goes away. Yeah, but true if he just. But I have no problem if he only cares.

01:02:40:31 – 01:02:44:23
Stefanie Stershic
Well, because baseball makes sense. Because you don’t just watch your team.

01:02:44:28 – 01:02:44:55
Agent Palmer
No. Watch.

01:02:44:55 – 01:02:45:45
Stefanie Stershic
All of you watch a bunch.

01:02:45:47 – 01:02:46:42
Agent Palmer
I watch a lot.

01:02:46:46 – 01:02:52:23
Stefanie Stershic
Yeah. And and across, like, time zones, like you watch you watch the Dodgers and the Padres. So you’ve got West.

01:02:52:23 – 01:02:55:17
Agent Palmer
I love that West Coast and the NL West is even.

01:02:55:17 – 01:02:56:52
Stefanie Stershic
And then you’ve got and then you have Orioles.

01:02:56:56 – 01:03:14:26
Agent Palmer
The NL West might be my favorite division in all of baseball, even more than the one the Orioles are in. Because as we record this right now, they talk about realignment. Yeah. And the NL West is going to stay exact. There is no no one’s touching the NL West when it comes to realignment. Yeah the Orioles could end up in a different division.

01:03:14:32 – 01:03:37:38
Agent Palmer
Yeah. But the NL West is going to stay. Those teams those four team that’s it. That’s it. And that’s wonderful. And yeah but hopefully he won’t ever be up late enough to watch the West Coast games with me. Yeah hopefully not. That was that was that was during year one. Yeah. Hopefully not again until year 18. Yeah.

01:03:37:42 – 01:03:39:54
Agent Palmer
You know or whatever.

01:03:39:58 – 01:03:43:14
Stefanie Stershic
Let’s face it, he’ll be staying up late well before 18, but.

01:03:43:14 – 01:03:55:32
Agent Palmer
Well, that’s fair. No, I don’t I don’t have a preference. I’m willing to explain if questions are asked or not explained. I think.

01:03:55:37 – 01:04:01:08
Stefanie Stershic
Well, because you have a lot of sports knowledge, like I ask you questions and you sometimes see things before the announcers do.

01:04:01:10 – 01:04:02:18
Agent Palmer
Well, that’s a whole different.

01:04:02:29 – 01:04:05:11
Stefanie Stershic
So like, I feel like he would maybe be like, but do you think that.

01:04:05:11 – 01:04:14:35
Agent Palmer
But you’re a very good litmus test for this because you moved into this house without being a sports fan. Yeah, I watch it or not.

01:04:14:35 – 01:04:15:35
Stefanie Stershic
And yeah.

01:04:15:45 – 01:04:21:29
Agent Palmer
I did not patronize, you know, by explaining the sports, I waited for you to either ask.

01:04:21:34 – 01:04:22:07
Stefanie Stershic
You questions.

01:04:22:07 – 01:04:31:51
Agent Palmer
And you because of who you are, you asked questions more related to my reaction than to anything that actually happen. Oh, yeah.

01:04:31:51 – 01:04:33:17
Stefanie Stershic
Because I’m like, why are you reacting?

01:04:33:23 – 01:04:35:43
Agent Palmer
So so I wonder.

01:04:35:50 – 01:04:37:39
Stefanie Stershic
What did I miss? What what am I not gonna.

01:04:37:42 – 01:04:48:42
Agent Palmer
Be because because some of these you were new to. Yeah. So the question will be, will he ask about my reaction to things, or will he ask because he’s curious about what happened?

01:04:48:47 – 01:04:54:52
Stefanie Stershic
I think he he will ask quite a lot, I think based on our reactions.

01:04:54:52 – 01:05:08:37
Agent Palmer
So watching I guess the answer is thank my my inane sports knowledge will finally come in use. You’ll be able to if if questions are asked, I could probably answer most of the basic.

01:05:08:37 – 01:05:16:43
Stefanie Stershic
You will be his OG sports center that no longer exists that you grew up watching. That doesn’t. He’s not around anymore.

01:05:16:43 – 01:05:43:02
Agent Palmer
But you will be that way. And you know that because I lament that all the time is not quite the same as it used to be. You don’t sit down and watch all the sports things. It’s just they know the internet exists and it barely even highlights. It’s. Yeah, whatever. No, I I’m excited for it. I am yeah, I’m excited and I right now the only time it we get to watch stuff is right before the afternoon nap if we’re together.

01:05:43:05 – 01:05:47:37
Agent Palmer
Yeah. And, so I guess that’s the that, you know.

01:05:47:42 – 01:05:49:09
Stefanie Stershic
During the evening, right after dinner.

01:05:49:18 – 01:06:15:22
Agent Palmer
Yeah. So when that awareness kicks in, whatever sport it happens to be, I’m on board for it. And look, there’s also we can go like and we live in a time where we can go back in time. If it’s baseball and it happens to be like playoff time and then there’s no more baseball, we go to YouTube. Yeah, like I can go on YouTube and be like, here’s a game from when I was 13 that I watched.

01:06:15:22 – 01:06:37:24
Agent Palmer
We can watch this together, right? Like there are these or if it’s if it’s if it’s NASCAR, you can go watch full races. Yeah. From way back when. And football’s the same way. So they’re the introduction is not limited by season. Yeah. As far as that’s you know whatever. But we’ll see I’m not no I’m not rude if.

01:06:37:25 – 01:06:43:39
Stefanie Stershic
Oh and then there’s also all the live sports that we can take him to. Like we can take him to a local baseball game. We can take him to a local college bus.

01:06:43:39 – 01:06:48:55
Agent Palmer
We can take him to any college where he wants. Really? But I guess the other thing would be.

01:06:49:00 – 01:07:07:24
Stefanie Stershic
Because that’s what really changed it for me, I think, as well as I went to my first baseball game with the local team here and like, thought, this is fun. Like, this is this is great. I’m starting to understand it. And then I went to my first major league game and and it went from there. So I think that’ll also kind of play into it I think.

01:07:07:27 – 01:07:17:19
Agent Palmer
But but just ignoring sports, the only other thing that really screen time allows is we watch concerts together.

01:07:17:19 – 01:07:18:13
Stefanie Stershic
Oh yeah yeah, yeah.

01:07:18:15 – 01:07:26:18
Agent Palmer
Because music I know is something that will calm even regardless of the music. So.

01:07:26:20 – 01:07:30:28
Stefanie Stershic
Oh, plus, I think music is also very important to us. Like for us, you and I.

01:07:30:32 – 01:07:30:50
Agent Palmer
Yeah.

01:07:30:50 – 01:07:36:21
Stefanie Stershic
So always more than just listening to something it’s it there’s like emotional attachment.

01:07:36:24 – 01:08:01:40
Agent Palmer
And I know a lot of people are like well throw sports and music under the bus. Yeah. As being garbage screen time. But when you compare it to any of the scripted stuff out there, I would let that kid watch every concert on YouTube and all the sports before, any reality TV, right? So, you know, it’s just this is what we’re comfortable putting on the screen and or just turn it off.

01:08:01:53 – 01:08:05:14
Agent Palmer
You amuse yourself, kid. Like it’s fine.

01:08:05:16 – 01:08:11:19
Stefanie Stershic
He does. He’s got a better. He’s got a bigger library than both of us combined his children. So he he’ll have plenty of things to do.

01:08:11:19 – 01:08:30:57
Agent Palmer
And then it doesn’t have to be a screen. But we are limiting. So that’s why. That’s why sports and music are big is probably the few things we let stay on the screen long. Yeah, but I know I’m not. And I think, you know, between us, there’ll be some interest.

01:08:31:02 – 01:08:32:15
Stefanie Stershic
Yeah.

01:08:32:20 – 01:08:39:44
Agent Palmer
Especially with, you know, the stuff that you watch. Although I’ve turned you into a pretty general sports fan. Yeah. As well. So who knows.

01:08:39:45 – 01:08:47:53
Stefanie Stershic
I, I would, yes, you’ve definitely turn me into a sports fan. I watch sports now and understand the sports that I’m watching. I never did before.

01:08:48:00 – 01:08:53:24
Agent Palmer
So. Yeah. No preference. And, we’ll, we’ll.

01:08:53:29 – 01:08:56:55
Stefanie Stershic
We’re we’re sports family. We’re sports. I think you’ll be.

01:08:57:00 – 01:08:58:03
Agent Palmer
Yeah, yeah.

01:08:58:08 – 01:09:00:49
Stefanie Stershic
It’s he’ll find his his thing.

01:09:00:53 – 01:09:03:44
Agent Palmer
Yep. And that’s whatever that is, is what it is.

01:09:03:48 – 01:09:04:36
Stefanie Stershic
Now be fine with us.

–End Transcription–

This transcription was processed by PalmerTech 3.1 and may contain errors for HUMINT (human intelligence).