With Honors
Writer: William Mastrosimone
Director: Alek Keshishian
Release: April 29, 1994
Tagline: If you want a degree go to Harvard. If you want an education go to Simon Wilder.
Executive Producer(s): Peter Guber, Jon Peters
Producer(s): Amy Robinson, Paula Weinstein
Stars/Actors: Joe Pesci, Brendan Fraser, Moira Kelly, Patrick Dempsey, Josh Hamilton, Gore Vidal
Music by: Patrick Leonard
Production Company: Spring Creek Productions
Genre(s): Comedy, Drama
ID: tt0111732
Rating: RPG-13
Runtime: 101 minutes
Synopsis: Convinced his thesis will have him graduate with honors from Harvard University, a stuffy student finds himself at the mercy of a homeless man’s demands when he holds the papers hostage.
Declassified by Agent Palmer: The Enduring Wisdom of Simon Wilder in With Honors
Quotes and Lines
Simon Wilder: Which door do I leave from?
Professor Pitkannan: At Harvard we don’t end our sentences with prepositions.
Simon Wilder: Well, in that case, which door do I leave from, asshole?
Professor Pitkannan: What democratic eloquence.
Simon Wilder: You asked a question sir, let me answer it! The genius of the Constitution is that it can always be changed. The genius of the Constitution is that it makes no permanent rule other than its faith in the wisdom of ordinary people to govern themselves.
Professor Pitkannan: Faith in the wisdom of the people is exactly what makes the Constitution incomplete and crude!
Simon Wilder: Crude? No, sir. Our “founding parents” were pompous, middle-aged white farmers, but they were also great men. Because they knew one thing that all great men should know: that they didn’t know everything. They knew they were gonna make mistakes, but they made sure to leave a way to correct them. They didn’t think of themselves as leaders. They wanted a government of citizens not royalty. A government of listeners not lecturers. A government that could change, not stand still. The president isn’t an “elected king,” no matter how many bombs he can drop. Because the “crude” Constitution doesn’t trust him. He’s a servant of the people. He’s a bum, okay Mr. Pitkannan? He’s just a bum. And the only bliss he is searching for is freedom and justice.
Social Security Clerk: DOB?
Simon Wilder: EFGHIJ.
Social Security Clerk: I’m going to ask again, do you have evidence of birth?
Simon Wilder: I’m sittin’ here ain’t I lady? What do you think, I happened by spontaneous combustion?
Monty: What state were you born in?
Simon Wilder: Infancy.
Monty: Why did you say that I was a loser?
Simon Wilder: The pot calling the kettle black, huh? I’m not a loser, Harvard. I’m a quitter. You try too hard. Winners forget they’re in a race, they just love to run.
Everett: Oh sure, you’re a mechanic?
Simon Wilder: No, I’m a Zen Buddhist, but that’s close enough.
Simon Wilder: Hey, you know what the greatest nation in the world is?
Donation Student: Well I hope it’s the USA.
Simon Wilder: Wrong. It’s donation.
Monty: Simon wrote his own obituary, and he asked me to read it. “Simon B. Wilder bit it on Wednesday. He saw the world out of the porthole of a leaky freighter, was a collector of memories, and interrupted a lecture at Harvard. In 50 years on earth he did only one thing he regretted. He is survived by his family: Jeff Hawks, who always remembers to flush; Everett Calloway, who knows how to use words; Courtney Blumenthal, who is strong, and also knows how to love; and by Montgomery Kessler, who will graduate life with honor, and without regret.”
Simon Wilder: Women. Ain’t they perfect?
Monty: Not always.
Simon Wilder: Yes, they are, they’re perfect. Don’t matter if they’re skinny, fat, blond or blue. If a woman is willing to give you her love, Harvard, it’s the greatest gift in the world. Makes you taller, makes you smarter, makes your teeth shine. Boy, oh, boy, women are perfect.
Simon Wilder: Is this a lover’s quarrel? Maybe I should leave.
Courtney: We’re not lovers, we’re roommates and we respect each others’ space.
Simon Wilder: You respect each others’ empty air? That’s very profound for a couple of Harvard students.
Simon Wilder: When it comes to relationships, everyone’s a used car salesman.
Monty: Is that your philosophy? Don’t trust anyone.
Simon Wilder: No, you’ve got to trust people. But you can’t believe in the warranty.
Simon Wilder: How many bottles of that wine would you be willing to give me to fix it?
Everett: To get this thing running? Six.
Simon Wilder: Eight.
Everett: Seven.
Simon Wilder: Eight.
Everett: Okay, nine, but that’s my final offer.
Simon Wilder: Didn’t you used to run a saving and loan?