Robert, depending on which source you ask, is the fourth most common name in the United States.
When you trace its roots back to Old German for Hrodebert, you get the translation for “bright fame,” likely derived from hrod (fame) and berht (bright).
It is no wonder, then, that our fictional worlds are also thusly populated with Roberts, and here, for your perusal, are my Top 10 Fictional Roberts.
No honorable mentions this time…
10. Robert Baratheon (Game of Thrones)
Robert Baratheon may be short-lived among the many seasons of Game of Thrones. He rates pretty highly as a Robert for me, however, because I’ve not watched a season he wasn’t in. Now, this is based completely on the singular season of the television show and because I haven’t opened the books, I can only assume that I only have a partial understanding of the character, but I enjoyed his rule nonetheless.
09. Robert Underdunk Terwilliger Jr., PhD. (The Simpsons)
To quote the great Bart Simpson, “AHH! Sideshow Bob!”
The great early seasons of “The Simpsons” are frequented by one of television’s greatest rivalries, which pits Sideshow Bob against Bart Simpson. It’s the criminal mastermind versus the Cowabunga Kid. These two make for classic episodes. Aside from his television performances, this often-incarcerated character did find time to become Mayor of Springfield and, later, of a village in Italy.
As of this writing, he has been in over 60 episodes since the series began, proving that even criminals can get second chances, provided they remain far away from their nemesis, lest they desire a relapse.
08. Robert “Bobby” Boucher Jr (The Waterboy)
Who hasn’t wanted to tackle a bully and knock him out, either within the framework of a game of football or just because they made fun of you?
Not only is The Waterboy a zero-to-hero story, but the idea that some people may have hidden rage, and potentially a talent for getting it out, should not be lost on those who choose to punch down in the world.
07. Robert ‘Bob’ Paulsen (Fight Club)
“His name is Robert Paulsen.”
For those wholly unfamiliar or who just haven’t seen it in a while, Robert “Bob” Paulsen was the “bitch tits” man, portrayed by Meatloaf, whom our narrator meets in recovery. It is, spoiler alert, after his death in the film, that a new rule is created: “In death, they have a name.”
In death, Bob became a legend, a martyr of sorts. While it’s not something to aim for, he was happy to just belong.
06. Robert ‘Rabbit’ Nurick (Twister)
“Rabbit is good, rabbit is wise.” Perhaps the most important member of the stormchasing team headed by Dr. Jo and Bill Harding, Rabbit, as he is called throughout the film, is the navigator.
Finding their fastest and most direct route to storms is his job, whether it be Bob’s road or the highway beyond the brush. Everyone needs a good navigator they can trust, whether they’re heading into the storm or away from it.
05. Robert “Bob” Belcher Jr (Bob’s Burgers)
Restaurateur and family man Bob Belcher is many things. He’s a third-generation restaurateur with impeccable skill for homemade cuisine. He’s a husband and father of three, and he may be the luckiest unlucky man on the planet.
While his poor luck doesn’t bode well financially for his business, he manages to stay afloat and provide for his family, the chaotic, loving TV family that we adore.
04. Dr. Robert “Bob” Kelso (Scrubs)
Sacred Heart’s Chief of Medicine proves that some leadership positions are designed to be inhuman. While Kelso is often at odds with Dr. Cox or the nurses, often because of budgeting or staffing decisions, he’s still a doctor.
Being Chief of Medicine means he’s more of a bureaucrat than a doctor, but he successfully ran the hospital during his time, allowing Dr. Cox, and his protoge J.D., to skirt some rules and find loopholes to treat patients well.
The bottom line here is that, based on the show, the character is likable and it is his position that makes him a mostly hardlined authority figure that everyone else can go against. But really, he’s just doing the best he can, and he’s pretty good at it.
03. Robert Blutarsky “Silent Bob” (Clerks & the rest of the View Askew Universe)
Silent Bob is the personification of saying few words and making them count. That’s the character as revealed in every View Askew Universe film: Clerks, Mallrats, Chasing Amy, Dogma, Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, Clerks II, Jay & Silent Bob’s Super Groovy Cartoon Movie!, Jay and Silent Bob Reboot, and Clerks III.
And in a world, especially our always-online world, where everyone is basically Jay, we could all use more Silent Bobs.
02. Robert Muldoon (Jurassic Park)
To be the game warden of John Hammond’s “spared no expense” dinosaur preserve is a very specific, lucrative, and respected position to be in.
To quote Hammond directly, “Bit of an alarmist, but knows more about Raptors than anyone.”
Here’s the thing, and people who only saw the movie don’t know this – in the book, Muldoon survives. And while in the film, we do see him outflanked by a pack of Raptors, we don’t actually see him die. Perhaps that’s why Muldoon’s family’s lawsuit for his death was a deleted scene in Jurassic Park: The Lost World? Perhaps, he is still alive?
If anyone could have made it, it would have been him, right?
01. Robert Hoover (Animal House)
The honorable President of Delta Tau Chi, and future public defender in Baltimore, Robert “Hoov” Hoover is the best Robert and tops the list. Why?
Well, it’s simple really. In a world, especially the world of Animal House where your fraternity is made up of the likes of Bluto, Otter, Boon, and D-Day, along with everything else, how much of a boss do you have to be to choose to be the leader?
Hoov must know that he’s not really in charge. After Delta House is put on double-secret probation, Hoov is the only one who is against the Toga Party, but it happens anyway.
There is something to be said for leaders who let the will of the people actually mean something. We know he wasn’t afraid to voice an opinion; he was originally against the toga party until a better argument was made.
Hoov: We’re on double secret probation, whatever that is. We can’t afford to have a toga party.
Otter: You guys up for a toga party?
Bluto: Toga! Toga!
Otter: I think they like the idea, Hoov.
Hoov: Otter, please don’t do this.
Otter: I got news for ya, pal. They’re gonna nail us no matter what we do. So we might as well have a good time.
At a time when there are, unfortunately, as many politicians who ignore the will of the people for their own best interests, or those who put party above common sense, or public servants who deem themselves infallible despite truth to the contrary, do your best to strive to elect and be more like Hoov.
Understand the will of the people and be willing to be swayed by a better idea, which is not always the same as a better argument.
In the end, we need more public servants and leaders like Robert “Hoov” Hover.
Conclusion
That concludes my list of top fictional Roberts. If you didn’t like my ordering or think I left someone off, let me know. I’m interested in your list if you make one.
This was a fun exercise, and it may not be the last, either fictional or factual.