Top 50 Duke Nukem Quotes from the Franchise

One of the more endearing parts of the Duke Nukem franchise from Duke Nukem 3D to Duke Nukem Forever and everything in between are the quotes that spew from Duke’s mouth throughout the gameplay in single-player and multi-player modes.

With that in mind, I have compiled a list of the top 50 things Duke has said throughout the franchise. They are full of pop culture references and quotes from other characters; Yoda from Star Wars and Ash from the Evil Dead franchise, as well as some great quips putting down other entities, such as the Quake and short-lived XFL.

  1. Damn, those alien bastards are gonna pay for shooting up my ride.
  2. My name is Duke Nukem – and I’m coming to get the rest of you alien bastards!
  3. You’re goin’ down faster than the XFL! [Reference to the short-lived XFL Football League]
  4. This is gonna fuck up my hair!
  5. Don’t get your panties all in a bunch.
  6. I always said, if there was a way to go, it’d have something to do with women, whips, and oil…
  7. Ah, New York! It’s my kind of town. If I can kill ’em here…I can kill ’em anywhere! [Reference to Frank Sinatra’s song “New York”]
  8. What are you? Some bottom-feeding, scum-sucking algae eater?
  9. Do, or do not, there is no try. [Star Wars Yoda reference]
  10. I’m gonna get medieval on your asses!
  11. I ain’t afraid of no quake! [in reference to ID Software’s Quake PC Game, as well as Ghostbusters tagline]
  12. Ahhh, smell those traffic fumes. And no damn aliens! Time for some R & R!
  13. Your face, your ass – what’s the difference? [Andrew Dice Clay joke reference]
  14. Power armor is for pussies! [while looking at a suit of armor resembling that of a Master Chief’s from HALO]
  15. Dying ain’t much of a living boy. [Reference to Clint Eastwood in ‘The Outlaw Josey Wales]
  16. My gun’s bigger than yours.
  17. I like big guns, and I cannot lie. [Reference to Sir Mix-A-Lot’s song “Baby Got Back”]
  18. That hurt you more than it hurt me.
  19. I make this look good. [Reference to Men in Black]
  20. Don’t worry about it, saving chicks is what I’m all about!
  21. Guess again, freakshow. I’m coming back to town, and the last thing that’s gonna go through your mind before you die… is my size-13 boot!
  22. Duke wins…. Fatality! [Reference to the 1992 arcade fighting game by Midway, Mortal Kombat]
  23. Let God sort ’em out! [Advice given by Arnaud Amalric during the Albigensian Crusade when asked by a Crusader how to distinguish the Cathars from the Catholics]
  24. Hmmm… That’s gonna leave a mark.
  25. Mess with the best, you will die like the rest [reference to Hackers (1995)]
  26. I like a good cigar…and a bad woman…
  27. Sometimes I even amaze myself. [Star Wars Han Solo reference]
  28. Confucius say… DIE!
  29. The bigger they are, the more they bleed!
  30. I go where I please, and I please where I go.
  31. You’re an inspiration for birth control.
  32. Suck my boomstick [Evil Dead series reference]
  33. I’m God’s gift to women!
  34. I’ve got balls of steel.
  35. I’m your worst nightmare, you uninvited alien scum-sucker! And right now you’re all that stands between me and a planet full of babes – so get ready to bend over and kiss your ass goodbye!
  36. It’s my way or… Hell, it’s my way!
  37. Yeah, piece of cake!
  38. Hey kids you remember i’m a professional, don’t try this at home!
  39. Good, Bad, I’m the guy with the gun! [Army of Darkness, as well as Blood, reference]
  40. Nobody steals our chicks… and lives!
  41. So many babes, so little time.
  42. Groovy! [Evil Dead 2: Dead by Dawn reference]
  43. I’m not gonna fight you, I’m gonna KICK YOUR ASS!
  44. This is why I have games named after me!
  45. Guns don’t kill mutants, I kill mutants.
  46. Nuke ’em ’till they glow, then shoot ’em in the dark!
  47. Babes, bullets, bombs. Damn – I love this job!
  48. Come get some! [Army of Darkness reference]
  49. Hail to the king, baby! [Army of Darkness reference]
  50. Damn, I’m good!

There you have it. Yoda and Ash should be proud to be quoted by Duke and the rest, well, stay out of his way. He’s all about kicking ass and taking names, after all he is the Duke. “All Hail the King, Baby.”